Duarte's Ham Cure

Verse 1

Luis Alberto Pestana Olivera Duarte Choo Choo Train

Tugs his left ear lobe whenever it starts to rain

Claims he owns the shop where the glazed donuts sit

In Attleboro he says he never has time to quit

Pre-Chorus

But the apron stays clean

And the sugar stays dry

He is nowhere to be seen

When the morning commuters fly by

Chorus

Oh Louie you are lounging at the local bar again

Buying rounds with no money to spare

Telling stories of riches that never began

Fixing your teeth with a slice of ham

You think you are the best

But you never pass the test

Oh Louie you are lounging at the local bar again

Verse 2

Pocketing a ham scrap for a molar hole

He tells the waitress he just sold a golden bowl

Walking with a limp to look like he worked all day

Then he finds a stool and throws his stress away

Pre-Chorus

His wife calls the shop

His phone starts to ring

The lying will not stop

While the beer glasses swing

Chorus

Oh Louie you are lounging at the local bar again

Buying rounds with no money to spare

Telling stories of riches that never began

Fixing your teeth with a slice of ham

You think you are the best

But you never pass the test

Oh Louie you are lounging at the local bar again

Bridge

Rubbing that lobe like it is a magic lamp

Telling the crowd he is a neighborhood champ

No dough in his pockets or his bakery bins

Just a handful of pork and a bunch of tall sins

Chorus

Oh Louie you are lounging at the local bar again

Buying rounds with no money to spare

Telling stories of riches that never began

Fixing your teeth with a slice of ham

You think you are the best

But you never pass the test

Oh Louie you are lounging at the local bar again

Oh Louie you are lounging at the local bar again