Pics of a Kirk’s Antelope

Spoken

Right then, ladies and gents, 'ave I got a story for you

I went up to Scotland the other week

Lovely place

Walked right into the Edinburgh Zoo

And you'll never guess what I found...

Verse

I took a stroll round Edinburgh - to the local zoo,

To see the chimpanzees and feed a pelican.. or two!!

The lions were a bore, you see, the monkeys made me sick

But then I found a creature that they call a little...

...Kirk’s Antelope

They're only twenty inches tall, they stand about knee-high

With lovely fluttery lashes on a big and doeful eye

There’s exactly half a dozen, and they do a little skip,

I whipped my camera out and then (click) (click) (click)

Pre-Chorus

So now..

Chorus

Would you like to see my dik-dik pics?

I've got six of 'em to show.

I got 'em out just yesterday to show my Auntie Flo

They're tiny and they're furry, with a twitchy little nose

So do you wanna see my dik-dik pics?

Verse

I saw my lovely neighbour, the widow Mrs. Brown,

She said, "I'm feeling lonely since my husband left town."

I said, "Well, cheer up, darlin', 'cause I've got a little trick

Just step into the parlour, have a look at my... dik-dik"

She gave a little gasp, she said, "My word, ever so small"

I said, "They might be tiny, but they've got six of 'em in all"

They're lighter than a terrier, they weigh about a stone

And I've got fifty more pics of 'em right here on me phone

Pre-Chorus

So..

Chorus

Would you like to see my dik-dik pics?

I promise it’s a treat

I show my little dik-diks to the people on the street

They're absolutely gorgeous, and I think you will agree,

There is no finer creature that a bloke could want to see

Bridge

Now one was in the bushes...

And one was by the grass...

I tried to take a photograph of his lovely furry...ears

They’ve got these rubber snouts, you see, that wobble when they chew

They're the finest bit of wildlife up in Edinburgh Zoo

Spoken Outro

Go on, just one look

Look how cute that one is