Stuff The Turkey

Intro

Welcome to Thanksgiving!

The turkey's hot, the drinks are cold,

And Grandma's already acting a fool.

Let's get stuffed!

Verse 1

Got a big bird sitting on my table,

Thick juicy thighs, looking incredible.

Mama said, "Boy, better work that meat!"

I said, "Don't worry, Mom, I've got experience with heat!"

Rub it with butter, get it nice and slick,

Stick that thermometer in nice and quick.

Grandma's in the kitchen with a bottle of Jack,

Asking Uncle Bobby if he's packing a snack!

Pre-Chorus

Grab that gravy, pass that cream,

This family dinner ain't what it seems.

Get your hands dirty, don't be shy,

There's plenty of stuffing and plenty of pie!

Chorus

STUFF IT! STUFF IT! FILL THAT BIRD!

Make it the dirtiest Thanksgiving you've heard!

GRAB IT! RUB IT! GET THAT MEAT!

Pour that gravy, make it nice and sweet!

SHAKE IT! BAKE IT! MAKE IT HOT!

Give that turkey everything you got!

We're getting stuffed, we're getting wild,

Thanksgiving's gone completely fucking wild!

Verse 2

Aunt Karen's drunk in a questionable dress,

Showing Uncle Mike a whole lot of breast.

He said, "Honey, you've had enough!"

She said, "Shut your mouth, I like it rough!"

Cousin Billy's drunk and feeling bold,

Telling the waitress he's worth his weight in gold.

He said, "Baby, wanna see my pecan?"

She said, "That's a pie, sir, put your pants on!"

Daddy's sitting with his zipper undone,

Claiming he's just getting comfortable, son.

Grandpa's got a pickle and he's feeling proud,

Nobody wants to know why he's laughing so loud!

Chorus

STUFF IT! STUFF IT! FILL THAT BIRD!

Make it the dirtiest Thanksgiving you've heard!

GRAB IT! RUB IT! GET THAT MEAT!

Pour that gravy, make it nice and sweet!

SHAKE IT! BAKE IT! MAKE IT HOT!

Give that turkey everything you got!

We're getting stuffed, we're getting wild,

Thanksgiving's gone completely fucking wild!

Verse 3

Cranberry sauce dripping down my chin,

Grandma's drinking tequila and dancing again.

Mashed potatoes looking extra creamy,

Uncle Steve's acting a little too dreamy.

He's got two drumsticks, one in each hand,

Says he's the biggest turkey eater in the land.

His girlfriend said, "Boy, better slow down!"

He said, "I haven't reached the stuffing mound!"

Breakdown

WHO WANTS TURKEY?!

(WE WANT TURKEY!)

WHO WANTS STUFFING?!

(WE WANT STUFFING!)

WHO WANTS GRAVY?!

(POUR THAT SHIT!)

WHO'S TOO DRUNK?!

(WE'RE ALL TOO DRUNK!)

Final Chorus

STUFF IT! STUFF IT! FILL THAT BIRD!

This is the dirtiest dinner you've ever heard!

GRAB IT! RUB IT! GET THAT MEAT!

Thanksgiving never tasted this fucking sweet!

SHAKE IT! BAKE IT! MAKE IT HOT!

Grandma's dancing on the countertop!

We're getting stuffed, we're getting wild,

Pass that gravy and lose your mind!

Outro

Well, the turkey's stuffed

The gravy's poured

Grandpa's lost his dentures

And Grandma just left with the Amazon driver!

Happy fucking Thanksgiving!

WHO THE HELL ATE MY BEANS?!