Depression

Verse 1

Sunrise settles on a sill where I just sat and stared

Mouthful of prescription pills that I prepared but never dared

Public says I'm winning, pretty image that I've carefully declared

But the minute that I'm finished I consider if it's fair

Sober in a cold apartment, carpet holding what I've shed

Honest when the darkness starts and I acknowledge what I dread

Comfort in the quiet terror, mirror on the opposite of me

Losing all the hours, power draining steadily and silently

Mention me and they'll say I'm fine, define me by the shine

Behind the blinds I'm sorting lines to find a reason I'm alive

Neighbor rang the buzzer, cousin called, I answered in a daze

Fabricated laughter afterward and mastered all these days

Verse 2

Morning on the floor again, the floorboard gives a creak

Weekly I ignore the pain that's pouring through my physique

Speak about my burdens? Never, clever with the camouflage

Mention of the torture gets deferred to something negligible

Catalog of mornings where I bargain with an absent mind

Arguing internal wars and starving for a different kind

Patiently I wait for any sudden reason to remain

Faded like the page I'm on and lately every day's the same

Bottled up the sorrow and I swallow what the pressure makes

Policy I follow when the hollow underneath the surface aches

Perfect on the surface but the purpose is a fabricated frame

Certain that the person in the curtain isn't worthy of the name

Verse 3

Who am I when quiet nights arrive and silence fills the space

Who am I when I survive the violence of the human race

Who is this that wears the grin and stares beyond the window pane

Who is this that carries in the very burdens I contain

Am I the fabrication or the patient underneath the act

Am I the reservation that I make before the final pact

Asking who I am but no response is ever coming back

Answer's in the empty and the heavy in the aftermath

Yeah I'm losing it, I'm losing me, refusing to confide

Using every option but the option that would set me right

Shit is getting dark inside the fortress that I built to save

Fuck the pretty portrait, I'm just torturing myself today