Witness Me Behaving

Verse

You saved that story for the company,

Waited till they'd settled in.

Said, "She can't take a joke, this one."

I said, "Then make it good."

You skipped the part where I was right,

Spent twice as long on what I wore.

I asked you how the story ended.

You hadn't got that far before.

Prechorus

You checked to see who else was laughing.

I let you have the pause.

You said, "You know I'm only teasing."

I said, "Of course."

Chorus

Witness me behaving!

Look how well I take it.

You came here for a spectacle—

Go on, you'll have to make it.

I won't raise my voice

To make your story true.

Witness me behaving.

How embarrassing for you.

Verse

You asked if I was feeling fragile.

I said, "No, how was your week?"

You said I'd missed your point entirely.

I said, "Then say what you mean."

You tried to get the others in it:

"Surely someone here agrees?"

They'd all been ready for a punchline.

You gave them something else to see.

Prechorus

You said I'd made it awkward.

I hadn't moved an inch.

You wanted me explaining.

I let you finish.

Chorus

Witness me behaving!

Look how well I take it.

You came here for a spectacle—

Go on, you'll have to make it.

I won't raise my voice

To make your story true.

Witness me behaving.

How embarrassing for you.

Bridge

I know the speech I'd give you.

I could do it word for word.

Then you'd forget what started it

And quote the bit that hurt.

I'm not calm because it's nothing.

I'm not calm because you're right.

I'm deciding what deserves

The rest of my night.

Solo

Breakdown

"You've gone quiet."

You're still talking.

"Can't we have a laugh?"

Who's stopping you?

Chorus

Witness me behaving!

No, I'm not pretending.

You can keep revising this—

I'm choosing where it's ending.

I won't raise my voice

To make your story true.

Witness me behaving.

Find somebody else to interview.

Outro

You said, "You're leaving early?"

I said, "I'm leaving pleased."

You'll have to tell them how I took it.

They were there.

They've seen.