Lyrics
**Verse 1** Demon‑ass squirrels in a redneck parade,
Kickin’ up mulch like a backyard grenade.
They gnawed through the clothesline — underwear flew,
Like a flag of surrender that I never approved.
They knocked down the feeder, ate every damn seed,
Now humping my roses like a porn star on speed.
One demon‑ass squirrel with a shitty little grin
Comes swaggerin’ in at sunrise — let chaos begin.
Loadin’ my rifle with buckshot and nuts,
Turn tail, little assholes, I will aim at your butts.
Another tore through the garden, kicked mulch in my face,
Moonwalked on the birdbath like he owned the place.
They moon me from branches, they mock every move,
Like bad furry gangsters with something to prove.
Another’s been humping my roses — I’m losin’ my cool,
Can you believe those motherfuckers just shit in my pool?
**Pre‑Chorus**
Now they sit on the fence with their smug little grins,
Furry rat goblins -- no remorse for their sins
Their eyes say “try me,” their tails say “fight,”
Standin' my ground with this here stick of dynamite.
So I stare them down, spit fire in the sky,
Listen here little fuckers — tonight you die.”
Yeah, I’m comin’ in hot with a plan so divine:
I’m takin’ back my yard one nut at a time.
**Bridge**
So what’s my plan?
Oh, baby, it’s brilliant — I’m not just vengeful,
I’m hateful and resilient.
(outro)
War's over for now, the night's calm and still
If they come back tomorrow....
I aim to kill.