The Hairy Hitchhiker

Verse 1

Well, I pulled up to the highway at a quarter after nine

And as I looked out of my window, my heart began to shine

For there was standing on the shoulder in a coat of hairy brown

A fellow lookin' so lonesome, he was a-bound to let me down

Chorus

Well, he waved his big hairy arm at me

And I slowed down to give him a ride

And when he jumped into the cab of my Kenworth

I nearly jumped out the other side

Verse 2

Well, his feet were huge as snowshoes and he smelled just like a bear

As he climbed up into my tractor with his knots of matted hair

But when he opened up his mouth, I was struck to great surprise

For he spoke with such erudition, I nearly rubbed my eyes

Verse 3

He said, "Good evening, Mr. Trucker, I'd appreciate a lift

For it has been quite some time since I have had a chance to drift

And though I find mankind uncouth and lacking in finesse

Any man who'd give Sasquatch a ride, I figured couldn't be all that bad"

Verse 4

Well, he talked of Plato, Socrates, and the politics of Rome

How they all became corrupted 'til they were overthrown

Then he spoke about the Bible and the meaning of its word

And, hey, I tell you, brother, that was the best sermon I ever heard

Verse 5

"What's your story, big Sasquatch? Why do you travel alone

Avoidin' people and livin' out in the wild unknown?"

He said, "Well, I've seen all your cities and I've seen all your ways

And frankly, sir, I'm just not impressed with the human race"

Verse 6

You take your women for granted, you're cruel to your kids

You kill and you steal and you lie just like the devil did

And I'll avoid your kind as long as I can breathe

But thank you for this ride, now I must take my leave

Chorus

He waved his big hairy arm at me

As he walked off into the night

And I wished that hairy hitchhiker

Was still riding there on my right