Track @@

Intro: Spoken, weather forecast style

Good morning, folks. Seven AM, humidity's high,

and today's forecast calls for a hundred percent chance of heartbreak.

This is a love that was never, ever supposed to happen.

Verse 1

He was hangin' on the hook, cord all coiled up neat,

She turned on steamy, fillin' up the room with heat,

He said "Girl you're gorgeous, all that mist and steam,"

She said "Baby back away, you know what this could mean,"

He said "I don't care, I just wanna feel your glow,"

She said "One drop on you and it's a whole show,"

He leaned in closer, sparks were nearly true,

She screamed "GET BACK, I am LITERALLY dangerous to you!"

Pre-Chorus

And the bath mat's screamin' from the tile floor below,

"THIS IS A SAFETY VIOLATION, DON'T YOU KNOW?"

The mirror's fogged up, watchin' through the haze,

"I can't even see this mess, but I feel the crazy days"

Chorus

Oh, the hairdryer fell in love with the shower!

Every date's a hazard, every kiss has voltage power!

He wants to hold her, she says "Baby, please don't,"

Physics said it best, this a love that just won't!

Oh, the hairdryer fell in love with the shower!

Danger every second, danger every hour!

He whispers "I would die for you" and means it literally,

She says "I know baby, that's exactly the tragedy"

Verse 2

He unplugged himself just to get a little near,

Owner walked in screamin', "WHY'S THE DRYER OVER HERE?"

He said "I just wanted one minute by her side,"

She said "Baby that was reckless, you coulda literally died,"

He got plugged back quick, heart still racin' fast,

She kept steamin' quiet, knowin' this can't last,

Every mornin' routine, they get sixty seconds close,

That's the only love they get, and somehow, that's the most

[[Bridge] Big Soul Breakdown]

OHHH!

He's just a hairdryer,

With a heatin' coil heart!

Lovin' a shower,

Kept perfectly apart!

He got outlets,

She got water lines,

And the whole entire bathroom,

Knows they'll never cross those lines!

Verse 3 - Rap Verse

Yo it's Dry Heat Dan, on the wall, cord tight,

Fell for the shower, first thing every night,

Owner got a warning sticker, right next to my hook,

Every single letter, that's a love story if you look,

Electrician came in, said "Man, this thing's a hazard,"

I said "Sir, you clearly don't know what love's mastered,"

Sixty seconds every mornin', that's my whole romance,

Ain't no OSHA regulation stoppin' this last dance!

Huge Final Chorus

Oh, the hairdryer fell in love with the shower! (HE'S GROUNDED, LITERALLY!)

Whole bathroom's a tragedy, steamy and shockingly historic-ly!

He's blowin' hot air proud, she's drippin' soft and slow,

He said "Marry me" she said "Baby, you already know—

We can't, that's not a metaphor, that's an actual electrical code!"

Oh, the hairdryer fell in love with the shower!

The safety inspector's comin', they cannot dismiss the hour!

He proposed with a ring made of a bent bobby pin last Tuesday,

She said "I love you too but— stay OVER there, okay?"

buzz!

...she said maybe, from a distance.

buzz! buzz!

That's the safest yes we're gonna get.

Outro