Limerpunks - Prumusles

There once was a girl from the Cod,

Who dreamed she'd been buggered by God.

When she rolled over, it wasn't Jehovah.

It was Roger the Dodger, the dirty old codger,

The bastard, the bugger, the sod.

There was a young sailor from Brighton,

Who said to his girl, "You're a tight one."

She replied, "Bless my soul,

You're in the wrong hole;

There's plenty of room in the right one."

A woman from South Carolina

strung fiddle strings 'cross her vagina.

With proper sized cocks

what was sex became Bach's

Toccata and Fugue in D Minor.

There was a girl named Miriah,

who succumbed to a lover's desire.

She said it's a sin,

but now that it's in,

could you shove it a few inches higher?

here once was a man from Kent

whose cock was so long, it was bent.

To save himself trouble,

he stuck it in double,

and instead of coming, he WENT.

There once was a man from Boston,

Who drove an Aston Martin.

He had room for his ass,

and a gallon of gas,

but his balls hung out and he lost em

There once was a woman from Eeling

who had a peculiar feeling

she laid on her back,

and opened her crack,

then pissed all over the ceiling.

There once was a girl named Dot,

Who lived off of pigshit and snot.

She had a disease, and ate the green cheese,

That she scraped from the side of her twat.

A large-organed female in Dallas,

Named Alice, who yearned for a phallus,

Was virgo intacto,

Because, ipso facto,

No phallus in Dallas fit Alice

There once was a man from Racine

who invented a fucking machine.

Both concave and convex

it would fit either sex

with accessories for those in between

In the Garden of Eden sat Adam

complacently stroking his madam.

And large was his mirth

for on all of the Earth

there were only two balls, and he had 'em.

There once was a lady from Wheeling

Who claimed she had no sexual feeling

Till a cynic named Boris

Simply licked her clitoris

And she had to be scraped off the ceiling