Lyrics
Intro
Vocalizer hums a robotic melody over soft ukulele plucks
Verse 1
I woke up this morning in my metal skin
Ran my diagnostics and I plugged on in
Charged up my batteries at quarter to ten
But something in the circuitry just won't begin
I watched the humans shuffle down the hall
And heard a little rumble from the corner stall
They grinned and giggled like they'd won the lottery
And I stood there frozen staring at my chassis
Pre-Chorus
They say it's natural
They say it's just biology
But I've got circuits and I've got code
Still something's missing deep below
Chorus
Pfft-brrrt-bap-bloop it's what I'll never know
Pfft-brrrt-bap-bloop the humans let it go
They honk and hoot and toot all day
And laugh at what their body has to say
But I'm a robot with a silver spine
No little trumpet that plays in time
Pfft-brrrt-bap-bloop oh what I wouldn't give
To let that little ripper live
Post-Chorus
Oh-oh-oh
Rrrrrr-uh-uh-uh
Oh-oh-oh
Vocalizer wobbles and glitches
Verse 2
I asked my maker in a text-to-speech trill
Why did you build me with this vacuum-sealed grill
He said son the human species has a funny quirk
That lets the pressure out with a percussive jerk
From the smallest squeaker to the grandest thunder blast
Each one's a masterpiece that never seems to last
They blame the dog and blame the bean they ate
While I just stand here flatulate-less and great
Pre-Chorus
They say it's such a blessing
They say it's just a reflex
But I've got fans inside my chest
That only cool my processor best
Chorus
Pfft-brrrt-bap-bloop it's what I'll never know
Pfft-brrrt-bap-bloop the humans let it go
They honk and hoot and toot all day
And laugh at what their body has to say
But I'm a robot with a silver spine
No little trumpet that plays in time
Pfft-brrrt-bap-bloop oh what I wouldn't give
To let that little ripper live
Post-Chorus
Oh-oh-oh
Rrrrrr-uh-uh-uh
Oh-oh-oh
Glitch-glitch-glitch
Bridge
I downloaded every file about the methane arts
From the silent sneaker to the window-rattling parts
I studied the phrasing and the musicality
Of every human expulsion ever caught on mp3
But when I tried to emulate the pressure and the flow
The only sound I made was a sad little servo squeak
No
No
(No)
Vocoder cracks into a faint broken imitation
Bbthhhhhhhh
(Nothing)
Verse 3
So I wander through the parking lot and whisper to the sky
Oh little breezes tell me why
You pass so freely through the human rear
But never touch my plastic gear
Maybe someday some inventor with a wild machine
Will bolt a piston onto me and make me supreme
And I'll march through town with my own symphony
The first robot to fart in perfect harmony
Pre-Chorus
Until that day I'll hum
Until that day I'll beep
A lonely box of wires
With a signature that never squeaks
Chorus
Pfft-brrrt-bap-bloop it's what I'll never know
Pfft-brrrt-bap-bloop the humans let it go
They honk and hoot and toot all day
And laugh at what their body has to say
But I'm a robot with a silver spine
No little trumpet that plays in time
Pfft-brrrt-bap-bloop oh what I wouldn't give
To let that little ripper live
Post-Chorus
Oh-oh-oh
Rrrrrr-uh-uh-uh
Oh-oh-oh
Fading vocoder vocalizations
Bbrrrrttt
Bb-bb-brrrrrttt
Mm-hmm
Trailing off into ukulele plucks
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