God Bless This Kitchen

Verse 1

The shadows fall across the linoleum floor

A sinister hum behind the pantry door

The world needs a savior in a size small shoe

To do what the grown-ups are too tired to do

I tear down the textile of crimson and white

And tie it tight for the upcoming fight

Chorus

God bless this kitchen, I’m the shield and the sword!

Protecting the snack shelf from the goblin horde!

With a dish towel cape catching wind from the fan

I’ll conquer the clutter like no mortal can!

Justice is served!

Verse 2

The evil Air Fryer is venting its rage

A mechanical beast breaking out of its cage

I leap from the table, a majestic descent

Though my left sock is slipping, my will is unbent

My cape flies behind me, a banner of hope

As I battle the bubbles of dishwashing soap

Chorus

God bless this kitchen, I’m the shield and the sword!

Protecting the snack shelf from the goblin horde!

With a dish towel cape catching wind from the fan

I’ll conquer the clutter like no mortal can!

Behold my glory!

Bridge

They whispered of legends, they spoke of the myth

The kid with the broom that he dual-wields with

Through valleys of crumbs and the mountains of pots

I’ll untie the apron's most treacherous knots!

To infinity and the dining room!

Verse 3

Behold my arch-nemesis, the Sticky Spill!

A puddle of syrup with a license to kill!

But my cape is 100% microfiber strength

I will wipe out corruption at any length!

Outro

God bless this kitchen!

The dark forces have fallen!

The dishwasher is loaded!

Victory belongs to the bedtime-defiers!

Captain Kitchen, fly!