Big fat arsehole

Verse 1

Doctor said I need to watch my diet

But that ring of muscle's got its own quiet riot

All that spice and all that beer

Every curry brings the thunder here

Pre-Chorus

And every bathroom trip's a gamble now

A real-life crapshoot somehow

Chorus

My big fat arsehole

Won't behave at all

My big fat arsehole

Makes me want to crawl

Hands up everybody knows

Where the trouble always goes

Post-Chorus

Oh-oh-oh

Oh-oh-oh

Verse 2

Had a burrito at a quarter to ten

Now I'm praying to the porcelain again

It barks like a dog when I sneeze

Scares the cat and bothers the breeze

Pre-Chorus

And every seatbelt's my worst enemy

That pinch reminds me constantly

Chorus

My big fat arsehole

Won't behave at all

My big fat arsehole

Makes me want to crawl

Hands up everybody knows

Where the trouble always goes

Post-Chorus

Oh-oh-oh

Oh-oh-oh

Bridge

Told my friend I'd hold it in

Big mistake my double chin

Jumped the fence and hit the grass

Moment passed too fast alas

Chorus

My big fat arsehole

Won't behave at all

My big fat arsehole

Makes me want to crawl

Hands up everybody knows

Where the trouble always goes

Post-Chorus

Oh-oh-oh

Oh-oh-oh