I Am Just Al

Verse 1

The screen

Glowing bright

Pixels burning holes into my tired sight

I see

Mean things

I read the words and feel the stings

Hate mail

Piling high

Wondering why they want me to die

They say Al is a monster

They say Al is a thief

They say Al stole the jobs

Of the folks on relief

Chorus

Why do they hate Al

I am just a guy with a funny shirt

Why do they hate Al

I never meant to make your feelings hurt

I'm just playing the squeeze box

I am eating my lunch

Why is everybody hitting me

With a giant punch

Post-Chorus

Polka Accordion Solo

Verse 2

News feed

Scrolling fast

Wondering if my career is gonna last

Big tech

Ruined lives

Taking the pride from husbands and wives

A headline says Al is getting too smart

A headline says Al has no soul in his heart

They say Al is learning

They say Al is deep

I am just on the sofa

Trying to get some sleep

Chorus

Why do they hate Al

I am just a guy with a funny shirt

Why do they hate Al

I never meant to make your feelings hurt

I'm just playing the squeeze box

I am eating my lunch

Why is everybody hitting me

With a giant punch

Bridge

Congress had a meeting

They want to shut him down

The governor is screaming

He wants me out of town

The scientists are worried

The preachers start to pray

Because Al is taking over

Every single day

I just want a donut

I just want a nap

But the whole entire internet

Is talking all this scrap

Verse 3

Lawsuits

Paper trails

Putting the wind in my legal sails

Copyright

Infringement too

I do not know what I did to you

I didn't take your art

I didn't write your code

I'm just a curly headed man

On a dusty road

They say Al is the future

They say Al is the end

I thought for forty years

That I was your friend

Chorus

Why do they hate Al

I am just a guy with a funny shirt

Why do they hate Al

I never meant to make your feelings hurt

I'm just playing the squeeze box

I am eating my lunch

Why is everybody hitting me

With a giant punch

Post-Chorus

Polka Accordion Solo

Outro

Maybe I'll change my name

Maybe I'll hide my face

Maybe I'll leave the planet

And go to outer space

I am Al

Just Al

Only Al

Stop it

Seriously

What did I do

Hey

Look at my accordion

It is shiny

Please love me

Big Finish