The Clean Keep Their Cool

Verse 1

I went down to the harbor just to look at the ships

But the captain yelled out with some words on his lips

He said, "Get off the deck, or I'll throw you in the sea!"

But the way that he said it sounded dirty to me.

He told me his ship was a massive vessel,

But his thick northern accent made my brain start to wrestle.

Chorus

Oh, it sounds like a swear but it's completely clean,

Don't get offended by what you think I mean!

We're just using phonics to play a little game,

If you hear something dirty, you've only got your mind to blame.

Verse 2

I walked to a farm on a hot summer day

I met a little donkey who was eating some hay

The farmer said, "Look at that stubborn ol' beast,

He's a pain in the rear, to say the very least!"

He screamed, "Get that jackass back into the pen!"

And the tourists all gasped and they gasped once again.

Chorus

Oh, it sounds like a swear but it's completely clean,

Don't get offended by what you think I mean!

We're just using phonics to play a little game,

If you hear something dirty, you've only got your mind to blame.

Verse 3

I went to a restaurant to get something to eat

The waiter dropped a platter right onto my feet

He looked at the mess of the gravy and rice

And muttered a word that wasn't very nice.

He cried, "Oh, shiitake mushrooms are ruined today!"

And the family beside us threw their napkins away.

Bridge

There's a dam on the river holding water back tight,

There's a beach by the ocean where we party at night.

If you're digging a ditch, please don't trip on the spade,

It's just regular language that people have made!

Outro

So check your vocabulary, don't get in a funk,

I'm just talking about a sheet or a large piece of junk.

Keep your mind in the gutter if that's how you roll,

But these perfectly clean words are under control!