Citrus Confusion

Intro

---

Verse

I made a simple promise to eat a healthier lunch,

So I headed to the market for a sweeter munch.

I figured it was easy - I'd be in and out the door,

But I froze in silent terror and I fell onto the floor

Verse

I used to think a citrus was a simple thing to buy,

But this botanical conundrum brings a tear into my eye.

I ask assistants for help, they just shudder and walk past,

Because the citrus family tree is growing way too fast

Pre-Chorus

So tell me...

Chorus

Is it a Mandarin, or a Tangerine

A Clementine, or something in between

I just want a snack, not a botany degree

Why's there a hundred different names for what looks the same to me.

It's round...

It is orange...

It fits right in my hand

But this citrus terminology,

I just don't understand.

Verse

Now on the left we've got a crate of Satsumas piled high,

But the next says Satsuma Mandarin -- is one of them a lie?

Are they different? Are they identical? I’m starting to go blind.

Oh look, over to the right, the Mediterranean Mandarin kind

Verse

And right beneath those boxes, staring back in royal hues,

Are the King Mandarins and Common Mandarins, which do I choose?

Did they come from different kingdoms? Did they grow up in a court?

I just want a bit of Vitamin C, of the easily peelable sort

Pre-Chorus

Arrrrrrrrgh!!!

Chorus

Is it a Mandarin, or a Tangerine

A Clementine, or something in between

I just want a snack, not a botany degree

Why’s there a hundred different names for what looks the same to me.

It’s round

It is orange

It fits right in my hand

But this citrus terminology,

I just don’t understand.

Bridge

Now hold on just a second, what on earth is this new phase

The farmers started mixing things just to put me in a daze?

We’ve got the hybrid Tangors, crossed with oranges, my oh my

Sweetclem, Clemgold, Clemcott, the names go flying by

And for the ones who gave up entirely on the citrus lore

They just slap "Easy-peeler" on a bag by the door

Break

Verse

If I eat a Clemcott, am I eating a Tangerine

If I juice a Clemgold, what does that even mean??

Some have seeds, some have none, some have skin that’s super thin,

I’m standing by the grocery scale, and I don’t know where to begin.

Pre-Chorus

Anyone know?

Chorus

Is it a Mandarin, or a Tangerine

A Clementine, or something in between

I just want a snack, not a botany degree,

Why’s there a hundred different names for what looks the same to me

Outro

So I grab a plastic mesh bag, I don’t even read the tag.

I throw my money on the till, I’ve had my citrus fill.

Satsuma, Tangor, Common, King... whatever the label says,

It’s sweet and it’s small, and it brightens up my days.

Just call it a tiny orange... yeah, that’ll do just fine.

Just give me a tiny orange... and let's leave the names behind

Fade Out

“Wait, what’s a Minneola? Oh no, not again…”