GETTING STONED WITH WILLY WONKA AGAIN — FLOOR SIX
90000millerPosted on August 18, 2026 at 4:14 PM
Lyrics
[Intro]The elevator doors slammed shut,
Lights started blinking red.
Wonka looked at me and said,
“Whatever you hear… don't turn around.”
I said, “Why?”
He whispered…
“Because it knows we're here.”
I said,
“Willy, what the fuck does that mean?”
Something growled behind us.
“Exactly.”
[Verse 1] We stepped into darkness, floor made of glass,
Something huge moved underneath our ass.
I looked down and nearly shit my pants,
A giant chocolate shark started doing laps.
Wonka said, “Don't worry, he's friendly.”
The shark smashed through the floor.
I said,
“THAT MOTHERFUCKER DOESN'T LOOK FRIENDLY!”
We ran down the hallway, candy flying everywhere,
Chocolate spiders hanging from the ceiling like chandeliers.
One dropped on my shoulder, I slapped that bitch away,
Wonka yelled, “Don't kill it!”
I said, “WHY?”
He said, “That's security!”
[Chorus] Getting stoned with Willy Wonka,
Welcome to Floor Six,
Everything is fucking dangerous,
And nothing here makes sense!
Getting stoned with Willy Wonka,
Running like we stole the place,
A chocolate shark is chasing us,
And there's a gummy bear on my face!
[Verse 2] We busted through a door marked TOP SECRET,
Inside was a room I wasn't ready to expect.
Hundred golden candy buttons on the wall,
Wonka screamed, “DON'T TOUCH THEM ALL!”
I said, “Which one?”
He said, “None.”
I said, “Okay.”
Then I tripped.
CLICK. CLICK. CLICK. CLICK.
Every button lit up at once.
Wonka just stared at me.
I said,
“Before you say anything…”
He said,
“RUN.”
The factory started shaking,
Chocolate started pouring,
The walls started laughing,
And the ceiling started snoring.
[Chorus] Getting stoned with Willy Wonka,
Now the whole damn factory's alive,
The floor is moving underneath us,
And the walls are screaming, “SURPRISE!”
Getting stoned with Willy Wonka,
This trip has gone too far,
I asked him if this shit was normal—
He said,
“Not even by Wonka standards.”
[Bridge] Then everything went silent.
No music.
No candy.
No laughter.
Just footsteps.
THUMP.
THUMP.
THUMP.
Wonka grabbed my arm.
“Whatever happens…”
“Don't laugh.”
I looked ahead.
A giant purple creature walked into the room wearing a tiny top hat.
I tried not to laugh.
He looked at me.
I laughed.
Wonka whispered…
“Oh, we're fucked.”
[Verse 3] The creature pointed right at me,
Then shouted, “YOU!”
I said, “Me?”
He said, “You're the new owner!”
I looked at Wonka.
Wonka looked at me.
I said, “Owner of what?”
The entire factory lit up.
CONGRATULATIONS!
NEW OWNER DETECTED.
WELCOME, CHRIS.
I said…
“Willy…”
He smiled.
“Congratulations.”
I said,
“Wait… does this mean I gotta pay for this shit?”
Wonka laughed so hard he fell over.
[Final Chorus] Getting stoned with Willy Wonka,
Now apparently this place is mine,
Chocolate rivers, candy mountains,
And a fucking dragon on payroll!
Getting stoned with Willy Wonka,
I can't believe this shit is real,
I came here looking for some candy—
Now I'm signing a chocolate deal!
[Outro] Wonka handed me a giant golden key.
I said,
“So what happens now?”
He pointed toward another elevator.
I looked at the button.
FLOOR 7 — WONKA'S SECRET
I said…
“Willy…”
He said…
“Yeah?”
I said…
“Why the fuck are there seven floors?”
He smiled.
“Because you haven't seen the worst one yet.”
The elevator doors opened.
I sighed.
“Fuck it.”
We stepped inside.
TO BE CONTINUED…