it's the most wonderful time for what

Chorus

It's the most wonderful time for what

To get blasted at work and say screw the lot

Jingle my ass, deck the damn halls

Got tinsel in places it never should fall

Verse 2

Uncles are drunk, grandma's cussing away

My kid got a lump, Santa's fake anyway

There's pie on the ceiling, the cat stole the roast

And I just spilled whiskey on this ugly-ass coat

Pre-Chorus

Snow in my boots, ice down my pants

Neighbors are fighting, nobody stands a chance

Credit cards maxed, nerves pushed past the brink

Hell, pour me another goddamn drink

Chorus

It's the most wonderful time for what

To plaster a smile while the relatives rot

Shove down the fruitcake, ignore their complaints

Yeah, cheers to this garbage, I’ll do what it takes

Verse 3

Cousin just puked on the plastic bouquet

My boss brought a fruit basket, re-gifted, I’d say

Eggnog looks chunky, there’s hair in the ham

The dog is suspicious, and so is the yams

Pre-Chorus

Shoveling slush with a hangover grin

Kids fighting over gifts they already broke in

Sweater’s too tight, this tie’s cutting my throat

If Santa had sense, he’d burn down this boat

Chorus

It’s the most wonderful time for what

To hug every jackass I’d sooner forgot

Faking good cheer as my patience gets frayed

Yeah, Merry damn Christmas—just pass me the spade

Verse 4

Stale cookie crumbs stuck right to my shoe

Aunt Linda's on Tinder, Grandpa’s sniffin’ the glue

Kids tearing the wrapping, goldfish in the punch

My patience is thinning, it's lunatics at brunch

Pre-Chorus

Carols off-key, my ears start to ring

Drunk cousin Joey can’t feel a damn thing

Gift cards for gas, a reindeer that’s rude

If jolly means shitfaced, I’ve nailed the mood

Chorus

It's the most wonderful time for what

To dodge flying nuts and pretend that I’m not

This heap of disasters, this cluster of cheer

Yeah, bring on the next mess—same time, next

Verse 5

Tinsel’s all tangled, the dog’s humping the tree

My jeans ripped again, right at the knee

Someone spiked cider with antifreeze gin

Now everyone’s arguing, nobody’ll win

Pre-Chorus

Snowballs are yellow, I don’t wanna know why

Carolers flipped me the bird on the fly

Batteries not included, tantrums galore

This season’s a circus—don’t care anymore

Chorus

It's the most wonderful time for what

To scrape dried up gravy from plates that I shut

Swear I won’t miss this, not even a smidge

Just toss me my boots, and I’ll raid the damn

Verse 6

Grandpa went missing, he’s chasing some geese

Half the damn presents got pawned by my niece

Stuffing’s all burnt, cousin’s locked in the shed

That Christmas ham looks like it’s already dead

Pre-Chorus

Socks for my gift and a cracked plastic sled

Wreath in the gutter and mold in the bread

Woke up mid-nap with tape in my hair

If this is the spirit, I don’t even care

Chorus

It’s the most wonderful time for what

To dig through old leftovers, scraping up muck

Raise one more glass to this glorious mess

Sign me the hell out—yeah, I need some rest

Verse 7

Found pine needles jammed in places I dread

Someone slept in the tub, now the guest room’s my bed

Cranberry stains on my pillow, oh hell

Is that glitter or dandruff? Guess time will tell

Pre-Chorus

Someone’s still blowing up weird plastic snow

Grandma’s fake teeth got stuck in the dough

Tree lights are fried and they’re stinking up smoke

If that’s festive, I’d rather just choke

Chorus

It’s the most wonderful time for what

To clean up the carnage, pretend we forgot

All the damn chaos, the stress and the stench

Box up the madness—see you next December, you