The Basement King of Mayonnaise

Verse 1

Gary lives in the basement he doesn't pay rent

Spends every last dollar on discount cement

Haven't washed since the year twenty-three

Keeps jars of mayonnaise tucked under his knee

Pre-Chorus

Nobody knows how he got this way

Nobody's brave enough to ask today

Chorus

Gary is crusty Gary is mean

The grossest disaster you've ever-or-seen

Licks at the butter coughs on the cat

Nobody knows why he's built like a rat

Drop

Built like a rat

Built like a rat

Oh oh oh

Built like a rat

Verse 2

Raw spaghetti straight off the floor

Knocks down your grandma slammin' open the door

Breathes through his teeth like a broken machine

Thinks deodorant is part of a dream

Pre-Chorus

Crust on his collar crust in his hair

Nobody invited him nobody cares

Chorus

Gary is crusty Gary is mean

The grossest disaster you've ever-or-seen

Licks at the butter coughs on the cat

Nobody knows why he's built like a rat

Drop

Built like a rat

Built like a rat

Oh oh oh

Built like a rat

Bridge

Lock up the windows hide all the cheese

Wanderin' in asking for fleas

Ugly and smelly totally vile

Let's throw him in traffic and walk with a smile

Chorus

Gary is crusty Gary is mean

The grossest disaster you've ever-or-seen

Licks at the butter coughs on the cat

Nobody knows why he's built like a rat

Built like a rat