The Gray Blobs of Darwin

Verse 1

Binoculars

Heavy on my neck

Sunburn on my ears

Sweat

I am looking at a brown bird

It is standing in the mud

It is small

It looks like the other bird

The one from five seconds ago

Is it a Great Knot

Or a Red Knot

Is it just a knot that is slightly more red

Or a knot that is doing great

I don't know

Jemaine

I think they are just playing a prank on us

Verse 2

Look at that one

Bar-tailed Godwit

It has a long nose

It looks like it is trying to find oil

In the sand

But then there is the Sandpiper

He is moving his bum

Up and down

Up and down

He is twerking for the tourists

It is inappropriate for a nature reserve

He has no modesty

Bret

He is a very suggestive bird

Chorus

All the shore birds look the same

It is a guessing game

Did you see the beak

I missed it

Was it long

Was it short

They are just grey blobs

With skinny legs

In the Northern Territory

Just grey blobs

Legs

Verse 3

Wait

The twitchers are coming

Look busy

Act like you know things

"Oh look at that Lesser Sand Plover"

"No that is definitely a Greater Sand Plover"

How can you tell

The beak is one millimeter longer

They are lying to us Bret

They are making it up

I think they are just saying words

To feel superior

Like the Terns

Every Tern looks like a Tern

But they see a Crested

They see a Roseate

They see a figment of their imagination

Chorus

All the shore birds look the same

It is a guessing game

Did you see the beak

I missed it

Was it long

Was it short

They are just grey blobs

With skinny legs

In the Northern Territory

Just grey blobs

Legs

Bridge

But then

A splash of color

The Crimson Finch is very red

The Double-barred Finch has tiny goggles

He is ready for a tiny swim

The Jabiru is tall

He is the supermodel of the swamp

And the Whistling Ducks

The Plumed ones

The Wandering ones

They are whistling at me

I think they want my sandwich

Or my phone number

And the Honeyeaters

The White-gaped

The Rufous-banded

The Blue-faced

They are eating all the honey

There is no honey left for my tea

Verse 4

Night falls

The Bush Stone-curlew screams

It sounds like a person

Who has lost their keys

And is very upset about it

The Masked Lapwing

He has yellow flaps on his face

He is judging my outfit

He is very judgmental

For a bird that nests in a car park

But we are looking for the legend

The myth

The Rainbow Pitta

Does it exist

Or is it just a story

Told by people

Who have stayed in the sun too long

Chorus

All the shore birds look the same

It is a guessing game

Did you see the beak

I missed it

Was it long

Was it short

They are just grey blobs

With skinny legs

In the Northern Territory

Just grey blobs

Legs

Outro

I found it

The Rainbow Pitta

Wait

No

It is just a candy wrapper

Stuck to a leaf

Still pretty though

Very colorful

Let's go get a milkshake

I'm tired of mud

Yeah

Mud is overrated