Trip Into Christmas

Verse 1

Slipped in the snow with a flask in my hand

Mother is bitchin', the gravy won’t stand

The tree's lookin’ crooked, the star split in two

Wrappin’ up insults, it’s nothin’ but blue

Pre-Chorus

Grandad’s already deep in the gin

Pulled out a cracker, found nothing but sin

Chorus

Let's trip into Christmas, let's fall on our ass

Trashed all the tinsel and spilled the damn glass

The turkey's not cooking, the oven's on fire

Grandma's been cursing, my uncle's a liar

Verse 2

Stumbled in drunk with a bag of regrets

Someone ate all the sweets, I'm pissed off, you bet

Cousin's high as the ceiling, sleigh bells just ring

But all I hear's yelling, what a godawful thing

Pre-Chorus

Stick your cheer where the sun don't go

This family's nuts, but hell, here we go

Chorus

Let's trip into Christmas, make fools of us all

Knocking down antlers and punching the wall

Pass out in ribbons, puke glitter and rage

We'll clean up the wreckage by New Year's Day

Post-Chorus

F*** it, it's Christmas, woo-hoo

F*** it, it's Christmas, ooh

Verse 3

Flipping the bird to the carolers outside

Pine needles jabbed in my ass when I slide

Gift wrap shredded, the dog ate the ham

Stuck in this jumper, just giving a damn

Pre-Chorus

Who the hell spiked the baby’s milk?

Tinsel's all tangled, the lights smell like silk

Chorus

Let's trip into Christmas, let's break every rule

Drunk dialing exes, just acting a fool

Socks full of whiskey, my patience is dead

Another disaster, just go back to bed

Post-Chorus

F*** it, it's Christmas, cheers now

F*** it, it's Christmas, right now

Verse 4

Sticky old pudding flung flat on the floor

The cat pissed the eggnog, sleet leaks at the door

Gramps lost his dentures in mom’s spiked sangria

Found them just floating, wrecked all the Ikea

Pre-Chorus

Swap your goodwill for a roll of duct tape

Forget merry wishes, just hope we escape

Chorus

Let's trip into Christmas, the chaos won't quit

Yanking at sweaters and tantrums that spit

Cursing the relatives, wrecking the tree

Cheers to this shitshow, it's pure anarchy

Post-Chorus

F*** it, it's Christmas, last round

F*** it, it's Christmas, shut it down

Verse 5

Christmas confessions in spilled cranberry goo

Lost my damn wallet, the neighbor’s sued too

Boxing Day’s coming, but who gives a crap

My pants are all torn and my patience just snapped

Pre-Chorus

Jingle my nerves till I scream out in pain

Pour me some rum, or just leave me in rain

Chorus

Let's trip into Christmas, the spirits still flow

Brawling with snowmen and cursing the snow

Sing out of key, start another bar fight

We'll burn every bridge by the end of the night

Post-Chorus

F*** it, it's Christmas, no rules

F*** it, it's Christmas, we're fools

Verse 6

Shatter the ornaments, swear at the elves

Got lipstick on reindeer and shame on the shelves

Dad’s passed out snoring with nuts on his chin

Someone spiked Santa—let mayhem begin

Pre-Chorus

Hangover stockings and curses, not love

If this is tradition, then push comes to shove

Chorus

Let's trip into Christmas, just laugh till we scream

Spraying fake snow and it tastes like old cream

Family’s outrageous, the cops on the block

The holiday spirit’s a punch and a shock

Post-Chorus

F*** it, it’s Christmas, too loud

F*** it, it’s Christmas, no crowd