I ❤ My McMansion

The builder said we'd made it

The day he handed me the keys

My wife was taking pictures

Of the kitchen and the trees

The neighbours brought a casserole

I got the sprinklers timed

And every morning at precisely eight

The whole street comes alive

I love my McMansion

It's everything I planned

Four bedrooms, three bathrooms

And a lawn I understand

I love my McMansion

It's everything I need

Sometimes I stand out in the driveway

Just to see it looking back at me

The HOA sent a letter

Said my hedges weren't aligned

I trimmed them to the millimetre

Now they look like all the others on the drive

My son says every house looks similar

I tell him that's the point

You don't want to be the only one

Who hasn't got it right

I love my McMansion

It's everything I planned

The mortgage is manageable

The future's looking grand

I love my McMansion

It's everything I need

I turn the lights on room by room

And check them as I leave

Last night I watched the upstairs windows

From the other side of the street

Every room was softly glowing

Every room looked back at me

I couldn't quite recall

What I'd gone outside to see

So I checked the front door twice

And went back in for tea

I love my McMansion

It's everything I planned

I know every inch of this place

I know exactly where I stand

I love my McMansion

It's a lovely place to stay

The house across the street is on the market

I hope they paint it the same way

I love my McMansion.

I love my McMansion.

I love my...

The lawn needs doing.