Reginald uncle Rupert thomas' dental hygiene benefit band Reprise

Introduction

Instrumental

Verse

Well Reginald’s shoes are thrown by the door

Tom’s floss is stuck right there on the floor

Old Rupert picks his molars, singing bold and off key

Uncle’s getting cranky ‘cause his teeth ain’t what they used to be

Bridge

Instrumental

French horn soloing in swirling, twisting lines

Refrain

Brush it up, spit it out

Laugh and shout, twist about

Reginald’s uncle drops his brush and cusses loud

Teeth go crashing as they prance around

Bridge

French horn calls and answers, curling like a yawn

Rupert trying desperately to chomp a lemon scone

Verse

Reginald, you filthy freak, get your arse in the sink

Stop pissing and moaning about your bleeding gums, they stink

Rupert’s fly undone and Thomas flicks a dirty tooth

Your bloody breath could kill a dog, you absolute uncouth

Reprise

Reginald, you toothless sod, you’d lose your head if not for Ma

Rupert munches biscuits, drooling gravy on his tie

Thomas yawns, his teeth all green, and gripes about his fate

Uncle blares the organ, yells, "You lot just bloody wait"

Bridge

French horn blaring wildly, tart and slightly mad

Chairs are knocked and bristles snapped, the hygiene’s gone to bad

Refrain

Brush your damn teeth, you filthy louts

Scrape your tongues, don’t muck about

Reginald’s uncle curses, drops his molars on the floor

Rupert wails and Thomas bitches, begging for some more

Bridge

French horn cackling mad, organ hammering the gloom

Reginald howls and Rupert chucks a cup across the room

Refrain

Scrub your gums, you useless gits

Spit and froth, throw hissy fits

Thomas moans and uncle rants, waving bloody paste

Rupert scoffs a sausage roll, smeared across his face

Verse

Oh Reginald, your goddamned breath could clear the sodding pub

Uncle’s banging on the pipes, sick of all your grub

Thomas wipes the mirror with someone’s filthy vest

Rupert snaps his rotten fang, declares, "We’re all a mess!"

Reprise

Reginald, you churlish git, your teeth are turning black

Uncle’s shrieking bloody murder, losing all his tact

Thomas grabs the organ keys, shouting over the din

Rupert bites a bar of soap, grinning with a wicked grin