I don't wanna do this anymore

Verse 1

Staring at the ceiling of an empty bedroom wall

Trying to remember how it felt before the fall

I'm packing up a bag with things that don't belong to me

A passport and a sonogram, a child I'll never see

I hit the bathroom floor, let the tears just start to drip

Tracing out the map of where you chose to let me slip

Thirteen and afraid, with a heartbeat in my chest

You bought a ticket out of here and told me it was best.

Chorus

And I get mad and shut the door

Crying to myself like, "I don't wanna do this anymore"

Why is this world so draining? I don't breathe like before

No energy to wake up, how much more can I endure?

Even sleep feels like a chore

I'm hiding in a country that I've never known at all

Rather sleep than tell you how it feels to watch me fall.

Verse 2

The radiator hums in a language I can't speak

Counting down the hours, everything is getting weak

You missed the tiny shoes, you missed the hospital room floor

I had to be a mom before I even passed the door

I whisper to the dark, but the bedroom never hears

Just a tape loop of your promises repeating through the years

I'm staring at her crib while the winter starts to bite

Wondering if you ever check the weather here at night.

Verse 3

I look out through the window at a street I don't belong

Trying to find the rhythm in a completely different song

They ask me where my mother is, I never know to say

She left me with a heavy heart a million miles away

I'm folding up her clothes, they're so small against my hands

Just a kid who had to grow up in these unfamiliar lands

My friends back home are studying, they're worrying 'bout grades

While all the color in my youth just slowly suffocates.

Chorus

And I get mad and shut the door

Crying to myself like, "I don't wanna do this anymore"

Why is this world so draining? I don't breathe like before

No energy to wake up, how much more can I endure?

Even sleep feels like a chore

I'm hiding in a country that I've never known at all

Rather sleep than tell you how it feels to watch me fall.

Verse 4

Sometimes I think I hear your footsteps walking down the hall

But it's just the shadows stretching out across the wall

I learned to change a diaper while I'm choking back a tear

No maternal instinct, just a paralyzing fear

You traded in my childhood for a clean and easy slate

And left me with a responsibility so great

I'm trying to be strong for her, I'm trying not to break

But I'm still just a little girl with every breath I take.

Outro

Just a low-fi beat rolling out the window pane

Just a kid with a kid, standing in the rain

Sixteen.

Yeah, I don't wanna do this anymore.