FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS

Intro – Skit

Bro, you ever think about how annoying it must've been to be the first person to invent something?

Like, imagine inventing farming...

And now everybody expects you to farm.

That's crazy.

Verse 1 – New Lifestyle

Woke up in the morning, got the sun in my eyes,\

Used to chase a mammoth, now I'm growing supplies.\

Got a little piece of land, got a couple of seeds,\

My neighbor's got a goat, and he's acting like he's elite.

Tigris on the left, Euphrates on the right,\

Water's looking good, got the crops looking nice.\

Used to move around, now we're staying in one place,\

Got a permanent address, that's a historical phase.

Built myself a house, got a roof, got a door,\

Now my wife says we need about ten things more.\

Got a surplus of grain, but there's one little catch,\

Somebody wants a portion, and they're calling it a tax!

Verse 2 – Civilization Problems

Now the village got crowded, everybody's got a job,\

Somebody makes pottery, somebody watches the crops.\

Somebody's a priest, somebody's a king,\

And I'm just trying to figure out who's in charge of everything.

They invented writing, now they're keeping track,\

How many sheep I own, how much grain I have stacked.\

Clay tablet in my face, got a bill I can't erase,\

I just wanted some bread, now I'm dealing with a case!

Chorus

Man, I miss the old days,\

When I didn't have a landlord or a workplace.\

Now I got a king and a list of demands,\

And somebody's building pyramids—wrong civilization, man!

I just want to chill, let me live my life,\

But the Code of Hammurabi says I'm paying a price.\

We made the first cities, now there's rules everywhere,\

I invented civilization, and it's honestly unfair!

Verse 3 – The Legacy

Ziggurat so tall, got the gods on the roof,\

Wheel on the ground, now we're moving our stuff.\

Irrigation in the fields, got the water on lock,\

Sumerian inventions got the whole world shocked.

Babylon came through, Hammurabi made laws,\

Assyrians had an army that would make you pause.\

Akkadians united, now the kingdoms connect,\

Mesopotamia's history deserves some respect.

Outro – Spoken

So basically...

We invented farming, cities, writing, laws, and government.

And the first thing we did with all that progress?

Started keeping track of everybody's money.

Humanity, man. We've always been like this.