A gradely British holiday

Intro

(Oh la dah dah dah, de dah da dah, de deedle de deedle dee dee)

Verse

Uncle Eric bought a Sprite, a caravan of cream and white

He said, "Our Betty, pack the pies, we're off to catch the sun"

He hooked it to the motor car, said, "Wales is really not that far"

And off we drove down the road, ready for some fun

Verse

Mother-in-law was in the back, sat upon a carrier sack,

Complaining that her bad left leg was playing up again

We finally reached Llandudno coast, the place that Eric loved the most,

And parked up on a grassy slope, directly in the rain.

Chorus

Oh, we're going on 'oliday, fetch the Thermos flask of tea,

We've got sand in the sandwiches and sewage in the sea.

If we survive the fortnight, it's a miracle, by gum,

A gradely British holiday for everyone

(Oh la dah dah dah, de dah da dah, de deedle de deedle dee dee)

Veres

Now Eric, he's a thirsty soul, he left the handbrake off the pole,

And trotted to the campsite club to get a pint of mild.

He didn't put the chocks beneath, which caused a sudden grinding 'neeth

As gravity took over and the caravan went wild.

Verse

It rolled across the putting green, fastest caravan you've seen,

With Mother-in-law still trapped inside, screaming at the top.

It bounded through the washing lines, it decimated three tall pines,

And headed for the Bingo Hall without a sign of stop.

Chorus

Oh, we're going on 'oliday, fetch the Thermos flask of tea,

We've got sand in the sandwiches and sewage in the sea.

If we survive the fortnight, it's a miracle, by gum,

A gradely British holiday for everyone!

(Oh la dah dah dah, de dah da dah, de deedle de deedle dee dee)

Verse

It smashed straight through the double doors, and skidded 'cross the wooden floors,

Just as the caller shouted out, "Two fat ladies, eighty-eight!"

Well, Mother-in-law flew out the back, landed on the bingo sack,

And shouted, "HOUSE! Now get me a sherry, before it gets too late!"

Verse

Well, Eric wandered through the door, and saw the wreckage on the floor,

He held his precious pint of mild and scratched his balding head.

He said, "Our Betty, don't you fret, it's the finest pitch we've managed yet,

And we won't have far to waddle when it's time to go to bed!"

Chorus

Oh, we're going on 'oliday, fetch the Thermos flask of tea,

We've got sand in the sandwiches and sewage in the sea.

If we survive the fortnight, it's a miracle, by gum,

A gradely British holiday for everyone!

Outro

(Oh la dah dah dah, de dah da dah, de deedle de deedle dee dee)

Yeah, a gradely British holiday... for everyone!

(De deedle de deedle dee dee!)