That Ghost that... my pants

Intro

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm

Verse 1

I was drinking at the Bronze Antler

Telling tales of dragon fights

When a chill ran through the tavern

And snuffed out all the lights

A specter floated through the rafters

Wearing nothing but a moan

I laughed and yelled "You can't scare me!"

That's when my trousers groaned

Chorus

The ghost that shit my pants, oh

The ghost that shit my pants

I was brave until the moment

When I felt that awful dance

Now the barmaid's holding her nose

And the minstrels stopped their trance

All because of that damned phantom

The ghost that shit my pants

Verse 2

Sir Reginald drew his broadsword

Magic Martha cast a ward

But I stood frozen like a statue

Down below the dam had poured

The spirit cackled made of moonlight

Pointed right between my knees

Said "You laugh at spectral horrors

But you'll never mock the breeze"

Chorus

The ghost that shit my pants, oh

The ghost that shit my pants

I was brave until the moment

When I felt that awful dance

Now the barmaid's holding her nose

And the minstrels stopped their trance

All because of that damned phantom

The ghost that shit my pants

Bridge

I'm a bard of great adventure

I've seen dragons, ghouls, and wargs

But nothing makes a hero humble

Like brown streaks on his targs

Chorus

The ghost that shit my pants, yeah

The ghost that shit my pants

I was brave until the moment

When I felt that awful dance

Now I'm walking to the river

With my breeches in my hands

Curse the memory of that phantom

The ghost that shit my pants

Outro

(Hey, fetch the ale!)

(Just... not the brown ale)