GETTING STONED WITH WILLY WONKA AGAIN — THE HAUNTED CANDY ROOM

GETTING STONED WITH WILLY WONKA AGAIN — THE HAUNTED CANDY ROOM

[Intro] Oh shit…

We came back to the factory.

Wonka opened a door I definitely didn't trust.

I said, “Willy, where the fuck are we?”

He smiled and said,

“Welcome to the Haunted Candy Room.”

I said, “Man… why the hell is the candy breathing?”

[Verse 1] We stepped inside, lights started flashing red,

Gummy worms crawling all over my head.

Chocolate ghosts floating through the air,

I looked at Wonka like, “Dude, are you aware?”

He said, “Relax, that's perfectly fine.”

I said, “Bullshit, that ghost just stole my dime!”

A candy skull rolled right by my feet,

Then a haunted lollipop started talking to me.

It said, “Eat me.”

I said, “Hell no.”

It said, “Eat me.”

I said, “Fuck you, bro!”

[Chorus] I'm getting stoned with Willy Wonka,

Running from a chocolate monster,

Candy ghosts are chasing me,

Why the fuck is that cupcake looking at me?

Getting stoned with Willy Wonka,

Everything is getting even crazier,

I said, “Willy, can we leave this place?”

He said, “Nope… the door just ate the key, face!”

[Verse 2] Then the floor started moving underneath,

A gummy bear jumped up and bit my cheek.

I screamed, “What the fuck is happening now?”

Wonka said, “That's Gary… don't make him mad.”

Gary the gummy bear grew ten feet tall,

Started throwing jellybeans all over the wall.

I grabbed a broom and yelled, “Back the fuck up!”

Gary looked at me…

Then he farted out a cupcake.

[Chorus] I'm getting stoned with Willy Wonka,

Running from a chocolate monster,

Candy ghosts are chasing me,

Why the fuck is that cupcake looking at me?

Getting stoned with Willy Wonka,

Everything is getting even crazier,

I said, “Willy, what the fuck did you put in this room?”

He said, “Honestly… I don't remember, dude.”

[Bridge] Dark hallway…

Creaking door…

Something's knocking from the candy floor.

Wonka whispered,

“Don't make a sound.”

I whispered back,

“Why the fuck is the floor breathing?”

Then the whole room screamed—

“WELCOME BACK!”

[Verse 3] I jumped so hard I landed in a pie,

Chocolate filling shooting straight into the sky.

Wonka was laughing, nearly falling down,

While three Oompa Loompas chased me around.

One had a chainsaw made of candy cane,

Another had a chocolate-covered brain.

I yelled, “Willy, I'm done with this shit!”

He said, “Wait till you see what comes next.”

I said, “WHAT?”

He opened another door.

[Final Chorus] I'm getting stoned with Willy Wonka,

Running through the factory like a motherfucking monster,

Chocolate ghosts and gummy bears,

I don't know what's real anymore in here!

Getting stoned with Willy Wonka,

This shit is crazier every time,

I said, “Willy, where the hell are we going?”

He smiled and said…

“Floor number five.”

[Outro] The elevator doors opened.

Wonka looked at me.

I looked at him.

He pressed the button.

FLOOR 5 — DO NOT ENTER.

I said,

“Willy… why does it say DO NOT ENTER?”

He smiled.

“Because nobody comes back.”

I said…

“Fuck it.

Let's go.”