Pedro's Mistake

Verse 0

Goddamn, Pedro, didn’t your mother warn your ass at all

You see something brown and cold, and you just let common sense fall

First snow of the year, and your dumb face starts grinnin’

I’m watchin’ you shovel shit, like you’re gunnin’ for a winnin’

Bridge

You absolute bonehead, now what’s dripping from your chin

That ain’t caramel, it’s diarrhea—let that sink in

What did you think, Einstein, ice cubes grow in the gutter?

Now your tongue smells like a pissed-on nutter

Intro

Hey Pedro, you dumb bastard, what the fuck were you thinkin'

You see some sketchy slush and your dumb ass starts drinkin'

That's not a snow cone, moron, it's a pile of sins

Gutter juice with a top hat, caked up with grins

Verse 1

Backstage in the alley, boots caked in drool

Found a sample of sludge, thought it looked kinda cool

You scooped it up, stuck it in your dumb, droolin’ maw

Now you’re coughing up sludge, gripin' to your ma

Stench circling your head like a plague of pissed-off bees

Let this lesson drill through your thick skull, please

Chorus

Don't eat the brown snow, you twisted fool

Why would you ever even think that's cool

Pedro tried it once, now he's gaggin' by the fence

Oh shit, now his mouth is beggin' for rinse

Guitar Solo

Verse 2

I said it for a reason, you filthy-ass monkey

That ain't cocoa, it's some rotten, stinkin' chunky

You see that slush, it's lookin' kinda shady

Some asshole left that mess and trust me, it ain't gravy

Pre-Chorus

Regret and afterthoughts, and a mouth tasting foul

Your brain's screaming, Christ, I need some lube now

If you see a patch that's off and smells like hell

Run like mad, don't slip, don't sell your sense to a smell

Chorus

Don't eat the brown snow, wipe that dumb grin

It's shit, not ice cream, don't let it in

Pedro's warning stands, it ain't sugar, it's a dump

Take my word, or let your stomach hit a slump

Guitar Solo

Guitar Solo

Bridge

Great Googly Moogly, who the hell are you

Standing ankle-deep in the Taco Tuesday goo

You tripped in the yard, now you’re stinking like sin

I’d hose you down—but where to even begin?

Verse 3

I'm not your mama, I ain't cleaning this pile

The butthole angel’s here, and he ain't got style

Plug in the machine, grab your freakin’ nose

It’s suckin’ out evil from your crack, here goes

Guitar Solo

Outro

Pedro’s still dry heaving, retching by the shed

I warned you, dumbo, but you bit off dread

So next time you’re tempted by that brown driftin' hill

Just remember—I’m out,

Verse 4

Alright, where were we, deep in this disgrace

Boots sliding through filth, a real shitshow race

Son, did you munch a mouthful of sewer pie

Regret’s the only sauce, wanna know why?

Verse 5

Hey, who the hell's this clown tripping near my heaps

Old Ponicho stalking, watch the crap he keeps

Mob of turd wranglers staking out the curb

One wrong shuffle, you’ll be worm chow, ya nerd

Bridge

I told you, don’t stomp round the fecal bazaar

That’s where dreams get smashed and your tongue gets scarred

You meet the shit Santa, fart bunny in tow

Gift wrapped in stench, stuffed up your nose

Outro

So pack up your boots, you diarrhea tycoon

The brown snow’s a gamble, and you bet like a loon

Here’s the final warning, last turd on the track

Screw around with the flush, you might not come back

Outro

So pack up your boots, you diarrhea tycoon

The brown snow’s a gamble, and you bet like a loon

Here’s the final warning, last turd on the track

Screw around with the flush, you might not come back