Shit-Kickin’ Bastard

Verse 1

I wake up with a whiskey burn, head’s poundin’ like a drum,

Last night’s a fuckin’ blur, got bourbon on my tongue.

Pissed in the neighbor’s yard, flipped the sheriff off,

I’m a shit-kickin’ bastard, don’t care if I get caught.

Got a truck that’s half broke down, tires bald as hell,

But it hauls my drunk ass fine to the bars where I raise hell.

Bartender knows my name, she’s pourin’ me a double,

If the jukebox don’t play Hank, I’m startin’ fuckin’ trouble.

Chorus

I’m a shit-kickin’ bastard, livin’ life my way,

Fuck the law, fuck the boss, I’m screwin’ every day.

From the honky-tonk to the trailer park, I’m raisin’ up a stink,

I’m a shit-kickin’ bastard, pass me another drink!

Verse 2

Met a gal at the roadhouse, she was wild as a hog,

Had a mouth like a sailor, and a ass that wouldn’t stop.

We fucked behind the dumpster, damn near broke my back,

She stole my smokes and my heart, but I’ll be fuckin’ back.

I don’t punch no time clock, told my job to suck it,

Rather jerk off in the woods than deal with corporate bullshit.

Got a shotgun by my side, and a cooler full of beer,

If you don’t like my style, get the fuck on outta here.

Chorus

I’m a shit-kickin’ bastard, livin’ life my way,

Fuck the law, fuck the boss, I’m screwin’ every day.

From the honky-tonk to the trailer park, I’m raisin’ up a stink,

I’m a shit-kickin’ bastard, pass me another drink!

Bridge

Yeah, the preacher says I’m sinnin’, but I don’t give a damn,

I’d rather burn in hell than be a pussy-whipped man.

So crank the fuckin’ radio, let the good times roll,

This shit-kickin’ bastard’s got a fire in his soul!

Chorus

I’m a shit-kickin’ bastard, livin’ life my way,

Fuck the law, fuck the boss, I’m screwin’ every day.

From the honky-tonk to the trailer park, I’m raisin’ up a stink,

I’m a shit-kickin’ bastard, pass me another drink!

Outro

So here’s to all the rednecks, the drunks, and the whores,

We’re fuckin’ up this town till we can’t no more.

I’m a shit-kickin’ bastard, yeah, that’s my fuckin’ name,

And I’ll be raisin’ hell till I’m pissin’ on my(Final Verse)

My liver's on the fritz, but the doctor can go to hell,

I'll die with a whiskey grip and one more tale to tell.

Got warrants in three counties, and child support I skipped,

The judge wants my ass in jail, but I won't be outtripped.

I sleep with one eye open, shotgun by my side,

With a middle finger raised, I'm takin' this wild ride.

They'll write it on my headstone when I'm six feet deep,

A shit-kickin' bastard who never needed sleep.

(Final Chorus)

I'm a shit-kickin' bastard, livin' life my way,

Fuck the law, fuck the boss, I'm screwin' every day.

From the honky-tonk to the trailer park, I'm raisin' up a stink,

I'm a shit-kickin' bastard, pass me another

(Final Verse)

My liver's on the fritz, but the doctor can go to hell,

I'll die with a whiskey grip and one more tale to tell.

Got warrants in three counties, and child support I skipped,

The judge wants my ass in jail, but I won't be outtripped.

I sleep with one eye open, shotgun by my side,

With a middle finger raised, I'm takin' this wild ride.

They'll write it on my headstone when I'm six feet deep,

A shit-kickin' bastard who never needed sleep.

(Final Chorus)

I'm a shit-kickin' bastard, livin' life my way,

Fuck the law, fuck the boss, I'm screwin' every day.

From the honky-tonk to the trailer park, I'm raisin' up a stink,

I'm a shit-kickin' bastard, pass me another drink!

Outro

When my time comes callin', won't go down with regret,

I lived harder and fuller than most sons of bitches yet.

So pour one out, light one up, when they lower me down,

The last shit-kickin' bastard to ever roam this town.

End