The Lesson I Survived

Dear Addiction,

I used to call you my friend.

You came into my life

when I was hurting,

when I was lost,

when I didn't know how to save myself.

And you promised you could.

You said,

"I'll make the pain disappear."

So I trusted you.

But you lied.

You didn't make my pain disappear.

You buried it deeper.

You didn't save me.

You slowly destroyed me.

You stole my time.

My relationships.

My trust.

My dreams.

Pieces of myself

I didn't even realize I was losing.

And the worst part?

I defended you.

When people told me you were hurting me,

I pushed them away.

When they said I was changing,

I blamed them.

I chose you

over the people who loved me.

I protected you

while you were destroying me.

You convinced me

that I couldn't live without you.

You convinced me

that I was too broken to change.

But you were wrong.

Because I'm still here.

And I'm finally starting to understand—

You were never my friend.

A friend doesn't lie to you.

A friend doesn't destroy you.

A friend doesn't make you hate yourself.

You were a prison

disguised as freedom.

A lie

disguised as comfort.

A betrayal

disguised as love.

So this is goodbye.

I won't pretend it won't hurt.

It will.

There will be days I miss you.

There will be moments

when you whisper that I need you.

But I will remember the truth.

I don't need you.

I need myself.

I need healing.

I need forgiveness.

I need another chance.

And maybe I can't get back

everything you took from me.

But you don't get

what's left.

You don't get my future.

You don't get my dreams.

You don't get my life.

Because I'm taking it back.

One day at a time.

One breath at a time.

One choice at a time.

You told me my story ended with you.

You lied.

This is not the end of my story.

This is the beginning

of me finding myself again.

So goodbye, Addiction.

You were never my friend.

You were the lesson

I almost didn't survive.

But I survived.

And now—

I'm choosing me.

I'm choosing healing.

I'm choosing life.