Ain’t Nothin’ But a Pompadour

Verse 1

You say I got too much hair up high

But that wave’s reachin’ for the sky

Greased it down with motor oil

Takes three combs and elbow toil

Stand back, watch this spectacle

My shadow’s got volume too

Ain’t nobody got a crown this wild

Tall tales and taller do

Chorus

It ain’t nothin’ but a pompadour

Sittin’ mighty proud above my brow

You can laugh but I don’t care

This tower’s held by prayer and hair

You can try to knock it down

Still it stands, king of the town

(Eric strokes his mustache dramatically)

Spoken interlude:

“And if you don’t like my mustache…”

(leans into mic)

“You can kiss my sweet behind.”

(A clown horn honks in approval)

Verse 2

Handlebar curl, waxed just right

Casts a shadow in the neon light

Some folks shave, they look so plain

But this lip rug’s my claim to fame

I slick it, twist it, wear it proud

A curtain call for every crowd

One twirl, two twirls – spotlight please

Front row, fall to your knees

Bridge – overly emotional

Ohhh, I tried once to shave it clean

My upper lip felt so unseen

The barber wept, the mirror cracked

Said, “Son… put that whisker back.”

(Eric attempts a hip swivel. Slight knee pop sound.)

Final Chorus – big finish

It ain’t nothin’ but a pompadour

Stacked up tall like a grocery store

And if you doubt this facial art—

Well you know where to plant that part!

Raise a glass, salute this sight

Gravity can’t win this fight

(Cape gets caught on arcade machine. He doesn’t break character.)

Eric (breathing heavy):

“Thank ya… thank ya kindly…

I’ll be here all week… unless security notices.”