The Lockes

Verse 1

Met him at a bus stop in the rain

He was arguing with a pigeon

Said his dad collects old spoons and lives in a shed

His mum paints portraits of the television

Pre-Chorus

I come from a house where the plates all match

But Friday night I'm sat

On his sofa with a cracked glass

Chorus

Oh the Lockes they're a funny old bunch

But they've got me now and I'm a proper lass

Down at the Prince with a pint in my hand

Screaming at the telly with the whole mad clan

Yeah the Lockes they're a funny old bunch

But I fit right in with a proper laugh

Verse 2

His sister Brenda wears a pirate patch

Just for fun she says on Tuesdays

His nan collects the neighbour's garden gnomes

Lines 'em up and calls them her court case

Pre-Chorus

I wore a dress the first time that I came

Now they've seen me eat a pasty

With my fingers in the rain

Chorus

Oh the Lockes they're a funny old bunch

But they've got me now and I'm a proper lass

Down at the Prince with a pint in my hand

Screaming at the telly with the whole mad clan

Yeah the Lockes they're a funny old bunch

But I fit right in with a proper laugh

Bridge

Mum rings me on a Sunday

Says "darling are you sane?"

I say "their dog's called Biscuit

And he dances for a biscuit"

And she sighs down the line again

Chorus

Oh the Lockes they're a funny old bunch

But they've got me now and I'm a proper lass

Down at the Prince with a pint in my hand

Screaming at the telly with the whole mad clan

Yeah the Lockes they're a funny old bunch

But I fit right in with a proper laugh

Outro

Proper laugh

Proper proper laugh

La la la la la

Proper laugh