GETTING STONED WITH WILLY WONKA AGAIN — WONKA'S SECRET
90000millerPosted on August 18, 2026 at 4:20 PM
Lyrics
[Intro]The GETTING STONED WITH WILLY WONKA AGAIN — WONKA'S SECRET
[Intro] Floor seven…
The doors opened slow.
Wonka stopped smiling.
I said, “Willy… you okay?”
He said,
“Not really.”
I said, “What the fuck is in here?”
He whispered…
“Me.”
I said, “What does that even mean?”
Then the lights came on.
[Verse 1] A giant golden room stretched out for miles,
Chocolate statues staring with creepy-ass smiles.
Hundreds of Wonkas standing in a row,
Every single one saying, “Welcome, bro.”
I looked at Wonka.
He looked at me.
I said, “Which one of you is the real motherfucker?”
Every Wonka pointed at me.
I said…
“Yeah, I'm fucked.”
[Chorus] Getting stoned with Willy Wonka,
Now there's Wonkas everywhere,
One's dancing on the ceiling,
One's got chocolate in his hair!
Getting stoned with Willy Wonka,
This shit just got bizarre,
I came here for some candy—
Now I'm trapped inside a Wonka avatar!
[Verse 2] One Wonka walked up wearing a purple suit,
Another one was riding a giant chocolate goose.
One had sunglasses and a candy cane,
One was yelling random numbers on a train.
Then they started arguing who was the boss.
I said, “Guys, I'm the owner.”
Everything stopped.
Every Wonka turned around.
One said,
“Prove it.”
I said,
“Uh…”
I pulled out my golden key.
The whole room screamed:
“THE NEW WONKA!”
I said,
“Wait… WHAT?”
[Chorus] Getting stoned with Willy Wonka,
Now they're calling me the king,
I don't know what the hell is happening,
But apparently I own everything!
Getting stoned with Willy Wonka,
Chocolate crown upon my head,
Wonka whispered, “Don't fuck this up.”
I said,
“Dude, I'm barely out of bed.”
[Bridge] Then the room went black.
One voice whispered…
“You found the factory.”
Another voice said…
“You found the secret.”
Then Wonka stepped forward.
He looked serious.
He said…
“You found me.”
I said,
“Willy… what the fuck are you talking about?”
He pulled off his purple coat.
Underneath…
Was another purple coat.
I said…
“That's your secret?”
He laughed.
“Of course not.”
[Verse 3] The floor opened up underneath our feet,
We dropped through clouds made of chocolate sweets.
I screamed, “WILLY!”
He yelled, “HOLD ON!”
We landed inside a giant candy spaceship,
With gummy bear pilots wearing tiny headsets.
One looked at me and said,
“Captain, we're ready.”
I said…
“Captain?”
Wonka pointed at me.
“Your factory. Your ship.”
I said,
“Why the fuck didn't anybody tell me?”
The gummy bear shrugged.
“You never asked.”
[Final Chorus] Getting stoned with Willy Wonka,
Now we're flying through the sky,
Chocolate spaceship going faster,
And I don't even know why!
Getting stoned with Willy Wonka,
This shit ain't ending soon,
We just blasted off the factory—
And we're heading for the moon!
[Outro] I looked out the window.
Earth disappeared below us.
Wonka handed me a chocolate helmet.
I said…
“Where the hell are we going?”
He smiled.
“Somewhere you've never been.”
I looked at the controls.
A giant red button said:
DO NOT PRESS.
I looked at Wonka.
He looked at me.
We both smiled.
I said…
“Fuck it.”
CLICK.
The spaceship shook.
Wonka screamed…
“OH SHIT!”
TO BE CONTINUED…