Not Thankful

Verse 1

Well I'm thankful that nobody came over

'Cause it's nice to be alone

And I'm thankful that the weather's rainin'

It's depressing, don'tcha know?

Chorus

And I'm thankful I can't afford no turkey

So I guess I'll eat some fish

I'm thankful there is nothin' on TV

I'm being flip, but this is my Thanksgiving list

Verse 2

I'm thankful that I can't get a date

'Cause I'd just have to pay

And I'm thankful that the holiday's on Thursday

'Cause I'll have to work that day

Chorus

And I'm thankful I can never win the lottery

I'm good with what I got

And I'm thankful for this stupid holiday

'Cause next year I'll probably forget

Verse 3

Well I'm thankful I can't sleep at night

'Cause I'd rather stay awake

And I'm thankful 'cause I didn't get my bonus

I know they have to make

Verse 4

Some money for the rich folks

So I'm glad I got no raise

And I'm thankful that my favorite sports team

Just threw it all away

Chorus

And I'm thankful my car just needs repairs

It'll keep me off the streets

And I'm thankful that this year there's no parade

It's not like I would watch it anyway

Verse 5

And I'm thankful that my neighbor's dog

Only barks at night

And I'm thankful that the water's brown

But hey, it tastes alright

Verse 6

Well I'm thankful that I'm not a country singer

'Cause they never sell no records

And I'm thankful when I go to bed

There's always somethin' under it

Chorus

And I'm thankful for my doctor

He just keeps increasing my bill

I'm thankful when I try to quit smoking

I can never find the strength or the will

Outro

And I'm thankful that my wife just left

And now I can have her friends

But this year I'm just not thankful

So next year, let's try again