Plonker In Green

Intro

Verse

I've never seen you looking so tragic as you do tonight

I've never seen a shade so bright, frankly, it looks like shite.

I've never seen so many mates ask you if you lost a bet

They're staring at the giant courgette, that they just met

And I have never seen that tie you're wearing

Or the polyester threads that catch the light

It hurts my eyes...

Chorus

The plonker in green is dancing with me, on my feet

There's nobody here who isn't staring, at you and me

It's not where I want to be

Cause I hardly know this Kermit by my side

I'll never forget the way you look tonight

Verse

I've never seen you looking so awkward as you do tonight

I've never seen a neon bright, you're practically glowing

I've never seen so many people try to step out of your way

And when you turned to me and swayed, I wanted to run away

And I have never had such a feeling

Such a feeling of complete and utter shame, as I do tonight...

Chorus

The plonker in green is dancing with me, on my feet

There's nobody here who isn't staring, at you and me

It's not where I want to be

Cause I hardly know this reptile by my side

I'll never forget the way you look tonight

I never will forget the way you look tonight...

Outro

The plonker in green...

My plonker in green...

My plonker in green...

I love you, but please...

Go burn that green suit.