Holding What I Am

Verse 1

I was sixteen when the river took my name

Barefoot in a linen shift

The village bells had not yet learned to ring

I have outlived every god they built

Older than the nails they hammered into Rome

Older than the prayers they sang

I still flinch at candlelight and holy smoke

I still remember when the hills had no name

Pre-Chorus

And I smile like a daughter

But my teeth know the taste

Of a thousand quiet mornings

That I stole and replaced

Chorus

So I walk the long street

Slow steps and soft speech

Holding what I am

Holding what I need

And it aches like a hymn

It aches like a hymn

Post-Chorus

(Ooh, ooh)

I hold it in

(Ooh, ooh)

I hold it in

Verse 2

I have lovers who grew old beside my face

Watched their hands go thin and strange

I have learned to leave before the mirrors speak

I have learned to never stay

Every dusk I promise I will not go out

Every dusk my body disagrees

Something older than my conscience pulls the thread

And the city opens up for me

Pre-Chorus

And I weep like a daughter

But my throat knows the trade

Of a thousand borrowed evenings

That I took and betrayed

Chorus

So I walk the long street

Slow steps and soft speech

Holding what I am

Holding what I need

And it aches like a hymn

It aches like a hymn

Post-Chorus

(Ooh, ooh)

I hold it in

(Ooh, ooh)

I hold it in

Bridge

I was there before the temples

I will be here when they fall

I am gentle in the doorway

I am winter in the hall

Call me monster call me sister

Call me nothing call me small

I am still the girl who waited

By a river by a wall

Chorus

So I walk the long street

Slow steps and soft speech

Holding what I am

Holding what I need

And it aches like a hymn

It aches like a hymn

Post-Chorus

(Ooh, ooh)

I hold it in

(Ooh, ooh)

I hold it in

Outro

(Ooh, ooh)

I hold it in