Brandon's Wood

Intro

(Cheering and clapping)

Thank you

Thank you so much

I want to tell you about my buddy Brandon

He showed up to the park today

He was carrying something special

(Laughter)

Verse 1

Brandon

Big Brandon

Walked out from the dugout

Holding his lumber

It was thick

Heavy

Grained perfectly

He spent all morning rubbing it down with oil

Polishing the head

Squeezing the handle

Making sure it wouldn't slip

(Laughter)

Chorus

Oh Brandon's wood is the talk of the town

He never lets his wood touch the ground

He keeps it stiff

He keeps it straight

He brings it right up to the plate

Everyone wants to get a grip on Brandon's wood

Yeah it’s understood

It's mighty good

Post-Chorus

Mighty good

Mighty good

Hard wood

Mighty good

Verse 2

The pitcher looked nervous

He saw the size of it

Standing there

Thumping

Brandon let out a grunt

He widened his stance

Adjusted his sack

The leather was tight

He looked at the crowd and winked

Then he let out a massive stroke

(Laughter)

It made a loud crack

Vibrated through his whole body

He didn't even run

He just watched it go

Deep

Hard

Long

(Laughter)

Chorus

Oh Brandon's wood is the talk of the town

He never lets his wood touch the ground

He keeps it stiff

He keeps it straight

He brings it right up to the plate

Everyone wants to get a grip on Brandon's wood

Yeah it’s understood

It's mighty good

Post-Chorus

Mighty good

Mighty good

Hard wood

Mighty good

Bridge

The ladies in the front row

They were pointing

They were gasping

They said Brandon

Can we touch it

Can we feel the weight

He said girls

It's an heirloom

Custom made

Thirty-four inches of pure power

Don't get splinters now

(Roaring laughter)

Chorus

Oh Brandon's wood is the talk of the town

He never lets his wood touch the ground

He keeps it stiff

He keeps it straight

He brings it right up to the plate

Everyone wants to get a grip on Brandon's wood

Yeah it’s understood

It's mighty good

Outro

Put it back in the bag Brandon

Cover it up

Before you hurt someone with that thing

(Applause and cheering)

Goodnight folks

Watch out for the wood

Yeah

Mighty good

(Laughter)