son is a IT

He tried to wash the car with a cup of hot tea

Looked straight into the mirror, said "Who the hell is he?"

I told him fix the Wi-Fi, thought the router was a stove

He plugged a USB into a damn loaf of sourdough

He tried to write some code using crayon on the wall

This boy is so confused he tried to Bluetooth a baseball

He says he's doing Tai Chi to align his inner soul

But he just stands there frozen like a broken loading pole

Moving in slow motion like his frame rate dropped to three

He accidentally punched himself and fell into a tree

He's flexing in the garden trying to block a single bee

Then trips over his shadow and he hits his stupid knee

Honestly I look at him and feel a total blank

I should have kept the receipt and returned him to the tank

Get him out my sight, he is a massive damn mistake

He tried to eat a graphic card and thought it was a cake

IQ 21! My son so damn dumb!

He tried to chew his juice and then he swallowed his gum!

Aya, IQ 21! What the hell did I do wrong?

He's trying to play the guitar with a ping-pong pong!

Is he even human? Did a robot drop its parts?

He's got a motherboard instead of human hearts!

Is he from a spaceship or a matrix or a myth?

I really do not care, go put him out with the garbage

He is an absolute clown, a total waste of space

I want to slam a keyboard right across his ugly face

He heard about the Cloud, sat outside and started waiting

He thinks that "cybersecurity" means computer dating

He bought a brand new mouse just to feed it real cheese

He got a PC virus, now he's coughing on the keys

He's working in IT but he can't even type

He tried to delete history by wiping down the Skype

He acts like a genius but he's lazy as can be

He clicked a phishing link just to see what he could see

He downloaded a girlfriend but the ZIP file was corrupted

Tried to kiss the monitor and got his lip abducted

He's staring at the motherboard and crying at the text

He thinks a basic floppy disk is something highly sexed

If he gets lost tomorrow I won't even look around

I'll just change the front door locks and hope he isn't found

He is a total ass, he is a glitchy little freak

He tries to boot his brain but it takes a whole week

He went out on a date to try and find a human wife

But he forgot how talking works in actual real life

He asked her for her IP and her login and her pass

She threw a glass of water right across his face so fast

He tried to make some friends at the local IT park

But he just stood there blinking and typing in the dark

He told a group of guys that his RAM was pretty high

They looked at him and realized that this human is a lie

My son is an alien, a glitch inside the system

If he disappeared tomorrow, nobody would have missed him

He tries to hold a conversation, mumbles like a drone

I think he was assembled in a factory in Cologne

He claims he has a glitch and that his programming is stuck

I stare at him blankly 'cause I do not give a damn

He reminds me of my neighbors, all the failures in the town

Uncle Jerry tries to think, his brain is upside down

He tries to style his hair, but he look like Donkey Kong

He tries to sing a melody, but screams the lyric wrong

And Cousin Billy has a laugh that sounds just like a goat

He tried to fix a printer but he shoved it down his throat

Then there's Tommy down the street, he smile he look like King Kong

He tries to use a keyboard but he type it with his tongue

My son is even worse than all these idiots combined

They have a little brain, but he completely lost his mind

IQ 21! My son so damn dumb!

He tried to chew his juice and then he swallowed his gum!

Aigoo, IQ 21! What the hell did I do wrong?

He's trying to play the guitar with a ping-pong pong!

Is he even human? Did a robot drop its parts?

He's got a motherboard instead of human hearts!

Whatever.

Go hang out with Jerry and Tommy.

A bunch of King Kongs doing Tai Chi.

I am locking the door.

Aya... absolute waste of time.

Aigoo... total ass.

Wah! So dumb.