Alien Gnomes FM

Intro

Welcome, listeners, to tonight’s peculiar tale

Static crackle, tuning dial, reports are off the scale

Late-night callers whisper wild suspicions, theories spun

Is it pranksters in the hedges, or trouble not yet begun

Segment 1: Host Monologue

Here on Station O-N-I-O-N, breaking news unrolls

Gardens picked bare, from rooftops to garden gnomes’ patrols

Phone lines open—Did you see a blinking light?

Special guest on the way, with onion facts tonight

Segue

A word from our sponsors, don’t cry or moan

Upgrade your onion alarm for your precious garden zone

Chorus

Aliens in tiny hats, spotted down the lane

They came for all our onions, vanished in the rain

Strange green faces, giggling on the breeze

Alien gnomes, won’t you tell us please

Post-Chorus

Stolen onions, where’d they go? (hey!)

Tiny hats, in a row (ho!)

Stolen onions, where’d they go?

Nobody knows, nobody knows

Verse 2

Reporting live from the greenhouse, chaos and baffled townsfolk abound

Mysterious footprints, gleaming pebbles scattered all around

Local chef’s in mourning, his soup now a sad affair

Without onions, there’s panic, confusion everywhere

Pre-Chorus

Is this the work of mischief, or visitors unseen

Tiny hats a-fluttering, onions swept clean

Tune in after the break for the mayor’s heartfelt plea

Alien gnome suspects still running free

Chorus

Aliens in tiny hats, spotted down the lane

They came for all our onions, vanished in the rain

Strange green faces, giggling on the breeze

Alien gnomes, won’t you tell us please

Post-Chorus

Stolen onions, where’d they go? (hey!)

Tiny hats, in a row (ho!)

Stolen onions, where’d they go?

Nobody knows, nobody knows

Chorus

Aliens in tiny hats, spotted down the lane

They came for all our onions, vanished in the rain

Strange green faces, giggling on the breeze

Alien gnomes, won’t you tell us please

Post-Chorus

Stolen onions, where’d they go? (hey!)

Tiny hats, in a row (ho!)

Stolen onions, where’d they go?

Nobody knows, nobody knows