Muddy Smudges in Darwin

Verse 1

Binoculars

Heavy on my neck

Sunburn on my knees

Searching the mud

Is it a Knot

Or is it a Great Knot

One is slightly larger

Than the other one

Supposedly

I think the bird watchers

Are just lying to us

Actually

I am sure they are lying

Chorus

Oh Darwin birds

Hiding in the mangroves

I can't see you

Through the humid haze

Just a grey smudge

On a grey beach

A very small smudge

In the mud

Post-Chorus

Birdy birdy

Twitchy twitchy

Small beak

Big beak

Maybe

Verse 2

Look

A Sandpiper

He is shaking his tail

He is twerking

Very inappropriate

For a public park

Now a Bar-tailed Godwit

Wait

It might be a Black-tailed Godwit

They look the same

Unless they fly

But he is napping

Just sleeping there

Refusing to move

For my hobby

Chorus

Oh Darwin birds

Hiding in the mangroves

I can't see you

Through the humid haze

Just a grey smudge

On a grey beach

A very small smudge

In the mud

Bridge

Crimson Finch

Double-barred Finch

Plumed Whistling Duck

Wandering Whistling Duck

Why are they whistling

Is there a taxi

The Honeyeaters

Are eating all the honey

There is no honey left

For my toast

And the Jabiru

Staring at me

With a giant face

I am uncomfortable

The Lapwing is screaming

The Curlew is screaming

Everything is screaming

In the Northern Territory

Verse 3

Lesser Sand Plover

Greater Sand Plover

It is a scam

A conspiracy

To sell guidebooks

The beak is one millimeter longer

That is not a species

That is a manufacturing error

And the Rainbow Pitta

Does not exist

It is a myth

Like unicorns

Or a cheap rental car

Chorus

Oh Darwin birds

Hiding in the mangroves

I can't see you

Through the humid haze

Just a grey smudge

On a grey beach

A very small smudge

In the mud

Outro

Is that a Tern

A Caspian Tern

A Crested Tern

Stop twitching

You're making me nervous

I'm going home

To have a nap

In the dark

Without birds

(Birdy birdy)

(Twerky twerky)

(Muddy muddy)

(Goodbye)