The Nut War

Verse 1

Dawn breaks over Maple Street, I lace my boots up tight

Got my broomstick in my hand, ready for the fight

They've been raiding my bird feeder since last Tuesday night

But today's the day I end this, gonna make it right

Pre-Chorus

Oh, the squirrels are coming, tails held high

A thousand tiny warriors beneath the autumn sky

They chatter their war cries from every oak and pine

I'm just one man standing on this battle line

Chorus

General Fluffington leads them from the old elm tree

With his army of acorn thieves, they're staring down at me

Their eyes gleam with mischief, their paws clutch stolen grain

This neighborhood skirmish has driven me insane

Hook

Oh, the squirrels are coming, tails held high

A thousand tiny warriors beneath the autumn sky

They chatter their war cries from every oak and pine

I'm just one man standing on this battle line

Verse 2

One leaps from the gutter, another from the fence

I swing my broom like Excalibur, making my defense

They scatter and regroup with tactical precision

This furry insurgency defies all my vision

Breakdown

My neighbor watches from her porch, sipping morning tea

She says "Just buy a better feeder, let them be"

But honor calls to warriors, and I won't back down

From this rodent rebellion threatening our town

Bridge

Now the squirrels are retreating, tails between their legs

Back to their hollow homes among the maple dregs

I stand victorious though battered and bruised

In the Great Squirrel War, I refused to lose

Outro

But tomorrow they'll return, I know it in my bones

For as long as there are nuts, these battles will be shown

Man versus squirrel, an ancient rivalry

Written in the stars of our suburban history