Love Potion Sixty-Nine

Intro

Oh-oh

Mm-hmm

Sisters keep your cauldrons closed tonight

Mm

Verse 1

I got my license Friday afternoon

Certified apprentice second class

Mama left for market with a warning and a spoon

Dont you brew a single thing that sasses back

I said yes maam

I lied

Pre-Chorus

Cause I found the recipe tucked inside a grimoire

Page sixty-nine in cursive hard to read

It said Love Potion Sixty-Nine with a little flame

And a warning that I did not heed

Chorus

So I tossed in ginger root and a widow's ring

A dragon's tooth and seventeen of something worse

Stirred it counterclockwise while I tried to sing

Now the kettle's humping like a living curse

Oh me

Oh my

Verse 2

First the spoon jumped out and bit me on the thumb

Then the pot grew legs and walked across the room

Grandma's cat turned purple and he started quoting Psalms

And the ceiling opened up and rained perfume

I said sorry

It said no

Pre-Chorus

I grabbed a ladle swung it like a battle axe

The brew just laughed a wet and bubbly laugh

It multiplied itself and filled the kitchen sink

And half of it went running down the path

Chorus

Cause I tossed in ginger root and a widow's ring

A dragon's tooth and seventeen of something worse

Stirred it counterclockwise while I tried to sing

Now the kettle's humping like a living curse

Oh me

Oh my

Bridge

Love potion love potion

What have I done

Love potion love potion

Now everyone

The mailman is in love with the mailbox

The mailbox is in love with the rain

My broom proposed to the refrigerator

And the fridge said yes in Spanish and in pain

Guitar Solo

Verse 3

Neighbors came a knocking cause they heard the roar

Then they drank the puddles and they fell in love

With lamp posts with lawn chairs with each other's doors

And a tax collector married a dove

I ran

They chased

Pre-Chorus

I climbed the chimney just to get away

The brew climbed up behind me like a tide

It whispered in my ear that I was its new bride

And asked me where I wanted our first date

Chorus

Cause I tossed in ginger root and a widow's ring

A dragon's tooth and seventeen of something worse

Stirred it counterclockwise while I tried to sing

Now the kettle's humping like a living curse

Oh me

Oh my

Breakdown

Mama came home

Mama saw the mess

Mama did not scream

Mama just said bless

Bless this house

Bless this brew

Bless the

Verse 4

Well the county sent a deputy to check the smell

He stepped in something purple and he loved it well

Now he's writing parking tickets to a weeping willow tree

And the willow's filing charges against me

I said sir

He said who

Pre-Chorus

I tried a counter-curse from chapter twenty-three

It called for salt and moonlight and a rooster's knee

I had neither so I used a sock and half a lime

And the brew grew teeth and started keeping time

Chorus

Cause I tossed in ginger root and a widow's ring

A dragon's tooth and seventeen of something worse

Stirred it counterclockwise while I tried to sing

Now the kettle's humping like a living curse

Oh me

Oh my

Post-Chorus

Bubble bubble gonna get you

Bubble bubble gonna get you

Bubble bubble gonna get you

Whoa-oh

Whoa-oh

Verse 5

The mayor drank a teacup at the village fair

Now he's married to the bandstand and they're quite a pair

My teacher from the academy came knocking on the door

She kissed a traffic cone and asked for more

I hid

Too late

Pre-Chorus

Great-aunt Mildred rose up out of her grave

Said child you brewed it wrong you gotta be more brave

She grabbed the pot and wrestled it into the yard

And the pot bit her and called her a lard

Verse 6

The moon leaned down and asked me for a sip

I said please dont and she took one anyway

Now the moon is howling at the ocean's lip

And the ocean's writing poems in the clay

She cried

I cried

Bridge

Love potion love potion

Look what you do

Love potion love potion

Even the moon

The scarecrow proposed to the weather vane

The weather vane said darling where you been

The well fell in love with its own reflection

And the church bells married the wind

Taiko Drum Break

Verse 7

By sunrise everything had calmed a bit

The brew had wandered off to who knows where

The cat was grey again and mostly counterfeit

And the fridge and broom were living as a pair

I waved

They waved back

Pre-Chorus

I buried what was left beneath the apple tree

With a sign that said do not disturb this spot

And a tiny little voice came up through the leaves

Saying thank you and I love you quite a lot

Final Chorus

Next time I will follow the recipe right

Next time I will measure out the parts

Next time I will not brew a thing at night

Next time I will guard my foolish heart

Oh me

Oh my

Mm-hmm

Oh-oh

Outro

Sisters keep your cauldrons closed tonight

Mm-hmm

Cause I know a girl who didn't

Oh-oh

And she's still finding husbands for the fence

Verse 8

Three weeks later I was doing fine

Passed my exams with a C-minus and a sigh

Then the apple tree out back began to whine

And the apples started falling from the sky

I said hi

They said run

Pre-Chorus

The roots came up like fingers through the lawn

The sign I planted popped off like a cork

And that little friendly voice I thought was gone

Came up singing like a choir in the dark

Chorus

Cause I tossed in ginger root and a widow's ring

A dragon's tooth and seventeen of something worse

Stirred it counterclockwise while I tried to sing

Now the orchard's humping like a living curse

Oh me

Oh my

Verse 9

The brew had married into the apple tree

And they had kids and the kids had kids and more

Little purple bottles hanging on the leaves

Each one labeled drink me on the core

I said no

They said please

Pre-Chorus

Now the whole darn village knows my name

And they line up at my gate with empty cups

The blacksmith wants a love that's not the same

As the anvil he's been courting, so he sups

Bridge

Love potion love potion

You came back

Love potion love potion

What a knack

The schoolhouse fell in love with the fire bell

The fire bell said honey ring my chime

The cemetery married all its headstones

And they're honeymooning two at a time

Taiko Drum Break

Verse 10

Great-aunt Mildred popped up out of the ground again

Said child you didn't bury it you fed it

She had a duduk and she played a mournful bend

And the brew sat down and listened like it read it

She said hush

It said no

Pre-Chorus

She said the only way to kill a love this strong

Is to love it till it's satisfied and full

So I hugged that nasty pot and sang it one more song

And it burped and turned into a woolly bull

Chorus

Cause I tossed in ginger root and a widow's ring

A dragon's tooth and seventeen of something worse

Stirred it counterclockwise while I tried to sing

Now the bull is humming like a living curse

Oh me

Oh my

Post-Chorus

Bubble bubble gonna get you

Bubble bubble gonna get you

Bubble bubble gonna get you

Whoa-oh

Whoa-oh

Verse 11

The bull went walking down the county line

Kissing fences, courting tractors, making vows

Married a windmill and they seemed just fine

Now they're raising little weather vanes and plows

I waved

They mooed

Pre-Chorus

I enrolled at the academy in fall

Took a class on brewing safely after dark

Professor said now children heed my call

Dont ever trust a recipe that barks

Final Chorus

Next time I will follow the recipe right

Next time I will measure out the parts

Next time I will not brew a thing at night

Next time I will guard my foolish heart

Oh me

Oh my

Mm-hmm

Oh-oh

Outro

Sisters keep your cauldrons closed tonight

Mm-hmm

Cause I know a girl who didn't

Oh-oh

And her apple tree is married to a bull

Mm

And the bull is seeing the weather vane on the side

Lock it up

Lock it up

Mm-hmm

Oh-oh

Oh-oh

Mm