Why Am I Here? Feat. ???

Verse 1

Woke up this morning with a weight on my chest

Another sunrise I ain't asked for I guess

Looked in the mirror saw a nigga I don't know

Eyes hollowed out from the years I let go

Smoke curls up slow through the window shade

Pockets got lint and a letter never made

To my mama bout the things that I seen

Blood on the boulevard where we used to be clean

Verse 2

That bottle on the counter keeps calling my name

But I'm already numb from the shame and the pain

My homies out the picture one by one

Left me here doing nothing under this sun

Phone ring and I let it go to voicemail

Ain't got the strength to tell another sad tale

World spinning fast and I'm stuck in the mud

Sick of the struggle sick of the blood

Verse 3

Late night thoughts got me talking to the ceiling

Asking God why I'm still here dealing

With this hurt that I can't seem to shake

Every breath I take feels like a mistake

I put on a smile for the ones that I love

But underneath I'm a dark cloud above

Them homies say Pac you gon be alright

But they don't see me crying in the night

Verse 4

I'm tired of being strong all the damn time

Tired of carrying this pain that's mine

Feeling like I'm drowning in my own skin

Can't find a way out can't find a way in

That pistol on the drawer look tempting to me

But that ain't the way that I wanna leave

Just wanna rest wanna close my eyes

Wanna leave this mothafucking world behind

Verse 5

My girl keep saying baby you gon get through

I don't got the heart to tell her that ain't true

Faking all these feelings wearing out my soul

You can only dig a hole before you lose control

Money don't fix what's broken inside

Fame don't help when you got nowhere to hide

I done gave my all to this shit they call life

And all I got back was a motherfucking knife

Verse 6

Remember back in the day we was running the block

Now I'm just a shell with a heart that stopped

Feeling every scar every lie every loss

Carrying a cross that I never shoulda crossed

The sun comes up and I'm still in the bed

Can't find a reason to lift up my head

That Old English talking to me on the floor

One sip then another then a couple more

Verse 7

Blood on my hands from the things I done did

Sleep don't come easy when you live like this

Every time I close my eyes I see the faces

Of the homies that got lost in these dark places

My OG told me keep your hustle tight

But that hustle took everything I had in sight

Now I'm sitting here with a bottle and a gat

Wondering which one ends this bullshit at

Verse 8

I ain't crying for attention that's for sure

This pain is real and it's burning at the core

Them doctors got a label for what I feel

But a label don't tell you how to heal

Shit been broken since I was seventeen

Now every birthday cuts deeper than the last scene

People see the glitz they don't see the cracks

Fucking hollow on the inside till I'm flat on my back

Verse 9

Lost another homie to the streets last week

Went to the funeral couldn't barely speak

Played that game of tough cause that's what I know

Now I'm breaking down and it's starting to show

The studio used to be my escape

Now even the beats can't seal up my fate

Words don't come like they used to before

That pen feels heavy when your heart ain't sore

Verse 10

I'm tired of pretending I'm okay

Tired of living for another day

That sunset looking like a permanent goodbye

And ain't nobody out here catching my eye

I told the homies I would ride till the end

But I don't know if I can call them again

Buried all my feelings deep down in the dirt

Now my whole existence feel like it hurt

Verse 11

Them fans be singing my lyrics back to me

They don't know the nigga underneath

They see the bravado they don't see the tears

They don't see the years eating at my gears

My producer say we got another hit

Fuck a hit I need a reason to live

That money stacking up inside the safe

But it can't buy the peace I can't locate

Verse 12

Walking through the city where it all began

Every corner got a memory of a dead man

Graffiti on the walls from the crew I lost

Every single tag a reminder of the cost

I'm the last one standing from the old set

And that title stay cutting at my chest

They look at me like I made it out clean

They don't see the ghosts in my routine

Verse 13

Mama taught me strength made me carry on

Now I'm too tired to even write a song

That beat