He-Man on the Sand

Verse 1

The sun is blazing hot at half past two

The tourists look pristine in their designer swimsuits

My cooler is packed down with warm generic beer

I peeled off my overalls and parked it right here

Folks are calling masking-tape emergency hotlines

While I’m blinding the public with my pale inner thighs

Chorus

Yeah, I’m dancing on the beach in my Underoos

Got my boots in the sand, got nothing to lose

They’ve got He-Man on the front, faded out blue

Doing the cotton-eyed joe by the ocean view

Let the seagulls squawk, let the lifeguards stare

I’m a country boy dancing in his underwear

Verse 2

My cousin Jimmy said I look like a fool

The elastic is stretched from the washing machine pool

I tried a split and split the stitching right down the seam

Now a group of elderly tourists is starting to scream

A lady took a video and started to cry

'Cause Skeletor is riding on my left butt cheek high

Chorus

While I’m dancing on the beach in my Underoos

Got my boots in the sand, got nothing to lose

They’ve got He-Man on the front, faded out blue

Doing the cotton-eyed joe by the ocean view

Let the seagulls squawk, let the lifeguards stare

I’m a country boy dancing in his underwear

Verse 3

Now the local sheriff is walking my way

He says, "Son, you're causing a major display"

I offered him a corn dog and asked him to join

He paused for a second, then wiggled his Loin.

But I hit a double-shuffle and I threw out my back

Now we're both in the ambulance sharing a snack

Bridge

Bridge

I dropped to the sand for a low-down crawl

But the dry-rotted waistband decided to fall

I gave the whole beach a theatrical show

Of two pasty white cheeks with a fluorescent glow

They were shining so bright that a cruise ship out far

Mistook my bare ass for the North Evening Star

Chorus

Yeah, I’m dancing on the beach with no Underoos

Got my boots in the sand, got nothing to lose

They’ve got He-Man on the front, faded out blue

Doing the cotton-eyed joe by the ocean view

Let the seagulls squawk, let the lifeguards stare

I’m a country cowboy, naked dancing here and there..