One-Man Machine

Intro

Mm-hmm

Well now don't that beat all

Uh huh

(Right)

Verse 1

Down at the laundromat Tuesday night

I seen a fella with a grin too wide

He was talkin to the dryer like it owed him cash

Winkin at the coin slot

Wavin at the glass

I asked what he was doin

He said nothin much at all

Just killin time and killin me

He put a sock in the drum

And a hand on his heart

Said this machine knows the real me

(Real me)

Pre-Chorus

So I went home and I locked my door

Sat down in my kitchen chair

Thought about the neighbors

And the way they stare

Chorus

Well he wank wank wank wank wanks

All the live long day

He wank wank wank wank wanks

Then he puts it all away

He says it clears his head

He says it helps him think

That boy just wank wank wank wank wanks

Every time he blinks

(Every time he blinks)

Post-Chorus

Wank wank wank

Wank wank wank

Uh huh

Wank wank wank

Wank wank wank

That's enough of that

Verse 2

My cousin Larry bought a truck

To haul his feelings out of town

But every off-ramp

Every rest stop

He'd pull the mirrors down

Said he's doin maintenance

Said he's tightnin up his soul

Said a man's gotta keep his engine clean

Lord I nearly lost control

(Nearly lost control)

Pre-Chorus

Now I ain't one to judge a man

I got my own bad habits too

But Larry called collect again

At a quarter after two

Chorus

And he wank wank wank wank wanks

All the live long night

He wank wank wank wank wanks

With the hallway light on bright

He swears it keeps him humble

He swears it keeps him lean

That boy just wank wank wank wank wanks

Like a one-man machine

(One-man machine)

Post-Chorus

Wank wank wank

Wank wank wank

Mm-hmm

Wank wank wank

Wank wank wank

Settle down now

Breakdown

Filthy filthy filthy little habit

Funny funny funny little man

Foolish foolish foolish little habit

Foldin up a paper fan

(Paper fan)

Bridge

I bumped into his mama at the grocery store

She said he's doin fine

Said he got himself a hobby

Said it takes up all his time

I said ma'am I think I know the one

She said please don't say it loud

I said I won't I won't I won't

Then I said it to the crowd

Chorus

He wank wank wank wank wanks

Every single afternoon

He wank wank wank wank wanks

To a pack of old cartoons

He calls it meditation

He calls it solitude

That boy just wank wank wank wank wanks

And he says it's all for you

(All for you)

Post-Chorus

Wank wank wank

Wank wank wank

Good lord

Wank wank wank

Wank wank wank

Go on now hush

Outro

Wank wank wank

Lord have mercy