Comics and Stone

Preface

Frank Ben-Haley, born odd, not wild

Living with comics while the world ran mild

Never wrangled cattle, never wore a big hat

Just chased Starfleet in a room full of chat

Verse 0

Had dust on his boots from the bus, not the plains

Knew Klingon, not cattle, never lassoed a thing

Lunchbox full of Cheez-Its, no Marlboro Red

Action figures instead of six-shooters under his bed

Pre-Chorus

Other boys dreamed of rodeos, gunslingers and gold

Frank just wanted Warp 9 and Miku to hold

Daydreams of blasters, no lawns ever mowed

Signed comics for lunch, every dollar owed

Intro

Frank Ben-Haley, just a nerd in a shop

Sorting manga with a Woody, drinkin’ soda pop

Dreamin’ warp speed, lost in galaxies far

Phaser in my pocket, Han shot first by far

Verse 1

Ain’t got a ten-gallon hat or a horse out back

Got my Miku on the register, rollin’ till I crack

Customers eye me weird, thinkin’ what the fuck’s he doin’

But I got starships on my mind and a date comin’ soon

Pre-Chorus

Blind date, they said, "Frank, it could change your life"

Didn’t say a damn word ‘bout snakes or any strife

Sweatin’ in my Star Trek shirt, hands shaking dumb

Hope she’s not a cosplayer, or I’m gonna need to run

Chorus

I went looking for love, but all I found was hell

Blind date gone sideways, and I can't even tell

If she's dangerous, gorgeous or just outta her mind

No one warned me, son, this woman don't play kind

Verse 2

Frank Ben-Haley, not a gun in my hand

Just a Star Trek tee, comics scattered like sand

Thought I'd talk Han Solo, who always shot first

But now I'm thinkin' maybe, I've met someone cursed

Pre-Chorus

Her name's Medusa, ain't that ringin' a bell?

Beautiful snake in a dress, and sexy as hell

I brought a blindfold, just in case I lose sight

If she turns me to stone, well then fuck it—tonight's the night

Chorus

I went looking for love, but all I found was hell

Blind date gone sideways, and I can't even tell

If she's dangerous, gorgeous or just outta her mind

No one warned me, son, this woman don't play kind

Post-Chorus

Oh Medusa, oh baby

Danger's my maybe

Oh Medusa, oh honey

Hold me, don’t stone me

Verse 3

She leaned on the counter, snakes curlin' with pride

Smokin' Marlboros, green eyes opened wide

She said, "Listen up, nerd, you're my type of trash"

If you ain't scared of statues, then maybe we'll smash

Pre-Chorus

My Miku plushy's starin' with those big blue eyes

Right between a phaser and some titty mags nearby

Han Solo on my shirt, Star Trek on my mind

But this gorgon goddess, hell, she's one of a kind

Chorus

I went looking for love, but all I found was hell

Blind date gone sideways, and I can't even tell

If she's dangerous, gorgeous or just outta her mind

No one warned me, son, this woman don't play kind

Post-Chorus

Oh Medusa, hot damn

Make

Verse 4

So I joked, "Girl, how bout a motel, with curtains pulled tight?"

She grinned, flicked her smoke, said, "You better hope you last the night"

Fuckin' snakes in her hair, but fuck it, that's hot

If I live through this hook-up, man, that's my only shot

Pre-Chorus

Gotta hide all the mirrors, turn off every lamp

If she looks my way sideways, I just might cramp

Ain't no safe word for gorgons, she calls all the shots

But I'm harder than stone when Medusa gets hot

Chorus

I went looking for love, but all I found was hell

Blind date gone sideways, and I can't even tell

If she's dangerous, gorgeous or just outta her mind

No one warned me, son, this woman don't play kind

Post-Chorus

Oh Medusa, raise hell

Under motel spell

Oh Medusa, goddamn

Verse 5

Bellhop knocked on the door, with a smirk on his face

I swear he tried to peek in, Jesus, the fuckin’ disgrace

He started moanin’ and howlin’—“Ah wah wah! Hubba hubba!”

Medusa just laughed, shot him a glare, kid froze up like his mother

Bridge

Someone out in the hallway, yellin’ “Hey, knock that shit off!”

“Let the lady and her nerd have their dirty little get-off!”

I shouted, “Back the hell up, keep your nosy ass clear!”

She grabbed me and snarled, “Yeah baby, now bring that ass here”

Pre-Chorus

Heard a shout from the lobby, “Quit pestering the guests!”

Verse 7

Next mornin’ at checkout, that bellhop’s still stiff

Medusa’s got my hoodie, damn, she’s leavin’ with a gift

Manager lookin’ sideways at my walk of shame

“Son, what the hell happened?” I said, “I won the damn game”

Pre-Chorus

Back to my comic shop, snakes in tow, heads all turn

Stackin’ longboxes, grinnin’, got a new lesson learned

Let ‘em talk, let ‘em stare, I ain’t ashamed one bit

If you land you a goddess, you don’t ever quit

Chorus

I went looking for love, but all I found was hell

Blind date gone sideways, and I can’t even tell

If she’s dangerous, gorgeous or just outta her mind

No one warned me, son, this woman don’t play kind

Post-Chorus

Oh Medusa, wild ride

I’d do it all ‘til I died

Oh Medusa, goddamn

That’s my dirty plan

Outro

So if fate hands you snakes, don’t you dare run scared

You fuck it up right, they might leave you impaired

But I’ll take another chance if she calls me tonight

Hell, I’d do it all again, wrong or right