Anakin's Got Nothing On Me

Verse 1

Used to wear a hood and a flowing cape

Had a red lightsaber with a violent shape

Lord Vader trained me on the dark side's ways

Now I'm stuck here in the suburbs counting days

Pre-Chorus

I traded the Empire for a two-car garage

My Sith holocron's collecting dust and sludge

Chorus

I'm an ex-Sith lord

Can't use the Force anymore

Got a day job and a mortgage

And a minivan to store

All the regrets I'm hauling

From the planet I was scorching

Yeah I'm an ex-Sith lord

And my midi-chlorians are boring

Verse 2

Palpatine still calls me on my birthday

Asks if I'd consider coming back and making hay

I tell him no thanks, I've got PTA tonight

Little Kevin's got a fever and the bathroom light needs fixing right

Pre-Chorus

The dark side's tempting but the HOA's got rules

Can't be choking people when they're breaking all the tools

Chorus

I'm an ex-Sith lord

Can't use the Force anymore

Got a day job and a mortgage

And a minivan to store

All the regrets I'm hauling

From the planet I was scorching

Yeah I'm an ex-Sith lord

And my midi-chlorians are boring

Bridge

Used to shoot lightning from my fingertips

Now I just use ointment for my lower back when it rips

The Emperor laughed when I turned in my saber

Said you'll be back — I said see you later

Chorus

I'm an ex-Sith lord

Can't use the Force anymore

Got a day job and a mortgage

And a minivan to store

All the regrets I'm hauling

From the planet I was scorching

Yeah I'm an ex-Sith lord

My midi-chlorians are boring

My midi-chlorians are boring