Addy Got Fired - NOT MY Fault! (Trevor's POV)

Intro

Okay, so... apparently, I'm responsible for Addy getting fired. Which is interesting, because... I don't work there! She started four days ago, and there's already a fire investigation. Four days! Most people need six months to become a liability.

Tuesday morning, Addy texts me, "Emergency! I forgot my employee number." I said, "Ask your manager." She goes, "I used Madison's. Problem solved." Then, she says, "Rebecca's being weird about it." I said, "Who's Rebecca?" She said, "Some lady who keeps telling me what to do." That's your manager, Addy!? Then, she calls me whispering, "How do you delete something from Google, before Google sees it?" Apparently, she typed a customer's account number into Google, because she didn't have a pen. I said, "Use Notepad!" She goes, "I don't have a notebook either!" I hung up. I needed to protect my remaining brain cells.

So, I stop by on my way to get gas. Addy runs outside, like she's escaping prison, and jumps in my car. She's furious, because she arrived at 8:06, for an eight o'clock shift. She says, "Eight-oh-six is still eight!" I said, "Technically..." She screams, "Thank you!" I said, "I wasn't finished!" She's talking, like, nine hundred words a minute. I asked, "Have you slept?" She said, "Yesterday." I said, "When, 'yesterday'?" She goes, "During yesterday." Okay... excellent medical history. Her pupils are enormous. She blames the sunlight. I explain that sunlight makes pupils smaller. She goes, "Well, maybe mine are independent." Then, I realize she's been on a fifteen-minute break, for almost half an hour. I said, "Shouldn't you go back?" She said, "Walking doesn't count." I said, "According to who!?" She said, "The Constitution... probably."

Forty minutes later, smoke starts coming out of the building. Fire alarm, people evacuating... total chaos. I see Addy, explaining something to a firefighter. She says, "Technically, the microwave started the fire. I just introduced the Pop-Tart." I said, "What Pop-Tart!?" She said, "The one I microwaved." I said, "With the wrapper!?" She goes, "Trevor, I didn't have time to undress it!" Rebecca walks over, looking twelve years older. She asks, "Are you responsible for her?" I said, "Absolutely not!" Addy says, "He's my emergency contact." Stop telling people that!?

Rebecca sends Addy home, and says they'll discuss her employment tomorrow. Addy gets in my car... smiling. She says, "See? I still have a job." I said, "You set the office on fire!?" She goes, "And everybody got off early. You're welcome." Then, she asks me to drive her to Walmart, for more Pop-Tarts. I said, "Why!?" She said, "Because mine burned." I drove her home. Next morning, Rebecca calls. Apparently, Addy listed me as a professional reference. She asks how long I've known her. I said, "Long enough to recommend changing the locks." Then, she asks me to collect Addy's personal belongings. Four days! She'd already decorated her desk! She had a desk plant named Rebecca Junior! Pfft!