The Lizard of Pertikard

Intro

One-two-three-four!

Verse 1

I was tendin' to my tankard in the Cask and Crown

When the barkeep's face went pale and upside-down

He said "Bard, I need a ballad, need it quick and true

"'Cause the Lizard of Pertikard just ate me stew!"

Pre-Chorus

I grabbed my trusty lute and gave a strum

Said "Tell me more about this scaly bum"

Chorus

Oh the Lizard of Pertikard, long and green

The strangest thing these cobbled streets have seen

He's got a tongue like a whip and a lazy eye

And he swallowed Harold's horse in half a pie

Oh the Lizard of Pertikard, what a sight

He's been drinkin' all the mead and startin' fights

Verse 2

I found him curled up on the blacksmith's roof

Pickin' teeth with a stolen alder hoof

He flicked his tail and knocked me off me feet

Then burped a cloud of cinnamon and heat

Pre-Chorus

I tuned my lute and sang another bar

He belched a firework and tipped his hat of tar

Chorus

Oh the Lizard of Pertikard, long and green

The strangest thing these cobbled streets have seen

He's got a tongue like a whip and a lazy eye

And he swallowed Harold's horse in half a pie

Oh the Lizard of Pertikard, what a sight

He's been drinkin' all the mead and startin' fights

Bridge

He can't read a map, don't know his left from right

But he'll charm your socks off in the candlelight

Magical? They say he'll steal your gold

But honestly? He's lazy, fat, and old

Chorus

Oh the Lizard of Pertikard, long and green

The strangest thing these cobbled streets have seen

He's got a tongue like a whip and a lazy eye

And he swallowed Harold's horse in half a pie

Oh the Lizard of Pertikard, what a sight

He's been drinkin' all the mead and startin' fights

Outro

La-la-la, la-la-la-la

La-la-la, la-la-la-la

The Lizard of Pertikard!

(Somebody get that lizard out me tavern!)