No License, Damn

Intro

Bought a Lamborghini.

Cash.

Big girl business.

Then the salesman said:

"Can I see your license?"

My what?

Hook

Bought a Lambo, no license—damn!

Keys in my hand, but I don't got a plan.

Engine go "vroom," I go "How do it start?"

Spent half a million on a driveway ornament.

No license—damn!

Can't drive—damn!

Look real rich while I wait for a van.

Everybody staring when I step out glamorous—

I stepped out the passenger side.

Don't embarrass us.

Verse 1

Walked in the dealer with a purse full of cash,

Said, "Give me the yellow one, make that shit fast."

He said, "Take it for a spin." I said, "Spin it where?"

I don't know what a brake is, but I styled my hair.

Sat behind the wheel looking cute and elite,

Both hands at twelve—forgot where to put my feet.

Pressed one little button, whole building went RAH!

I jumped in the back seat yelling, "WHO STARTED THE CAR?"

Salesman said, "Ma'am, that was literally you."

I said, "Watch your tone, I got rich things to do."

Tried to leave the lot, went two inches ahead,

Hit the windshield wipers, washed a perfectly dry Benz.

Got diamonds on the dash, fuzzy dice on the glass,

A custom little plate saying "MOVE, BROKE ASS."

But it's parked by the curb with the hazard lights blinking,

'Cause I purchased the car before doing the thinking.

Hook

Bought a Lambo, no license—damn!

Keys in my hand, but I don't got a plan.

Engine go "vroom," I go "How do it start?"

Spent half a million on a driveway ornament.

No license—damn!

Can't drive—damn!

Called me an Uber from inside the Lamb.

Driver pulled up and said, "Is that your car?"

Mind your business.

Put my suitcase in your trunk.

Verse 2

Insurance called, said, "How many years driving?"

I said, "Mario Kart—baby, I been surviving."

They said, "Any accidents?" I said, "Not technically."

I backed through a hedge, but the hedge came at me.

Went down to the DMV dressed like a queen,

Six-inch heels and a driving magazine.

Lady said, "Parallel park." I said, "Parallel who?"

Why would I park beside her? Does she own one too?

Turn signal left, but the car went right,

Instructor grabbed Jesus and held on tight.

I said, "Relax, babe, I'm learning the craft."

She opened the door while the vehicle passed.

Failed the test before leaving the space,

Still took a cute picture with a serious face.

Now my chauffeur drives while I sit in the rear,

Yelling, "Go faster!"

We're still in first gear.

Break

Officer:

"License and registration."

Me:

"Do you accept Klarna?"

Officer:

"No."

Me:

"Apple Pay?"

Officer:

"Step out of the vehicle."

Me:

"Perfect. I wasn't driving anyway."

Final Hook

Bought a Lambo, no license—damn!

Car got twelve horses, I can't control one of them.

Pulled to the party looking rich and dramatic—

On the back of a tow truck.

Still cinematic.

No license—damn!

Can't drive—damn!

But the cup holder works, so I'm pleased with the brand.

Bought a supercar just to sit there and pose—

Wait.

Where's the trunk?

Salesman:

"It barely has one."

Take it back.